IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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It is argued that
individuals
Use synonyms
 think that nowadays there are too many options to choose
.
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from.
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This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement because these days what is important is to do what they like, but
this
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 can lead to confusion and stress. Nowadays,
people
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 only follow their
heart
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hearts
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 and do what they like. In the past,
individuals
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 were not able to make a lot of
decisions
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, since their parents were the ones that made the
decisions
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 and they
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 no choice but to accept what they were offered. Now, parents and other
people
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 respect each other, so let
individuals
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to
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apply
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make their own
decisions
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,
such
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 as what they want to eat, to study or to wear. Recent research concluded that
people
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 have approximately 120% more choices than there were in the
last
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 decades. The main issues of
this
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 situation are confusion and stress.
This
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 is because there are products that are very similar, with the same appearance, the only difference could be the material or some changes in the interior of the product. But not every individual understands or knows how to find the differences, so
people
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 may waste hours
to investigate
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investigating
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 why the price of the product is different and which one they should buy. Normally, technical words are used to describe products, which leads to
missunderstanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
misunderstandings
, so
people
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 get stressed and confused by all the details offered.
For instance
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, many technological products
such
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 as
computer
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computers
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, cameras and mobile phones use words which normal
people
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 may not understand. In conclusion,
people
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 make many
decisions
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 because nowadays
individuals
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 like following their feelings, and
this
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 may cause pressure and uncertainty when choosing.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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structure
Ensure your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a distinct main idea that relates to the prompt.
development
Make sure that arguments are developed with explanations and examples. The examples you use must directly support your argument and be clearly understood by the reader.
cohesion
Your essay should be logically organized with clear progression between sentences and paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately.
task response
Stay on topic and ensure that your response answers the prompt fully. Include a clear position throughout your essay, and make sure to address the prompt directly in both the introduction and conclusion.
idea development
Work on providing clear and comprehensive ideas. Your essay should delve deeper into the subject matter by discussing the implications, causes, and potential solutions in a more detailed manner.
examples
Enhance your essay with precise and relevant examples. The examples given should be detailed enough to convincingly support your point of view and help the reader understand your argument better.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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