IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that now is the best time in histroy to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

#people #time #histroy #history
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
this
Linking Words
 is the right
time
Use synonyms
 to live
life
Use synonyms
. There are many reasons associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 argument. In my opinion
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is not the right
time
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everyone
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for everyone
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 not only human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, because
of
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apply
show examples
modern technologies are controlling our lives than before. some think that
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 was far better in
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
 compared to
Correct article usage
the 2020s
show examples
2020s
Correct article usage
the 2020s
show examples
. From my perspective, lives in
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
 enjoyed their
life
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 with interacting with
people
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 around them. Kids had a good childhood and schooling was far
more
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apply
show examples
better until technology
comes
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
. Climate change and air pollution were not
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 topics and
people
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 had been spending more
time
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 with nature.
Life
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 was not too complex compared to now.
People
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 have lived in remote areas and they
satisfied
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are satisfied
show examples
 with basic human needs. Family
life
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 was simple and
people
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 used to have less processed foods.
That is
Linking Words
 the era in which more award-winning books and novels were produced. I don't agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to a certain extent, because
of
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apply
show examples
modern technologies have replaced
good
Correct article usage
the good
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 values
from
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of
show examples
 our society and
this
Linking Words
 world become
a
Change the article
the
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 worst place to live. Society is under more stress than ever before and
people
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 follow financial success
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in unlimted
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unlimted
Correct your spelling
unlimited
 ways. Jobs are being replaced by technologies and AI tools.
People
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 are moving to cities which forces more crimes in urban areas. Climate change, air pollution and unemployment are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 concerns in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the disadvantages
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the advantages,
this
Linking Words
 is not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right
time
Use synonyms
 to live your
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kosalayapa on

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task achievement
The essay tends to present a one-sided argument with limited development of ideas. The stance is clear but the comparison between present and past is not fully explored. The topic sentences may contain a clear main idea, but the supporting sentences do not always develop the main idea sufficiently with relevant, specific examples and explanation.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas. Although an attempt to structure the essay is made, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and better organization with more logical connectors. Some repetition of ideas and lack of detailed examples prevent the essay from flowing smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied and complex sentence structures to improve the overall fluency of your writing. Attempt to expand on the main points with supporting evidence and examples to enhance argumentative clarity and effectiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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