23.Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.
Determining the goal of
schools
is always an interested
issue. Numerous Replace the word
interesting
people
assume that the main purpose of schools
is to turn the
children into good citizens and Correct article usage
apply
workers
. However
, in my opinion, the major target of studying in schools
is to benefit learners as individuals. This
essay will discuss both of these aspects.
On the one hand, set
of Correct article usage
a set
people
believe that study
in Wrong verb form
studying
schools
can help people
accelerate their knowledge and relevant skills such
as teamwork, social relationship
, or decision-making. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Hence
, these sources are
strongly Verb problem
apply
supporting to
their career. Wrong verb form
support
In addition
, theories in the classes are fundamental lectures which often include basic principles or regulations. Accordingly
, by observing these information
, a Change the determiner
this information
person
can gain the
good citizen certificate. Correct article usage
a
Consequently
, people
can easily become good residents or excellent workers
.
On the other hand
, and in my point of view, a
good residents or excellent Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
workers
is
only the grounds to benefit a Correct subject-verb agreement
are
person
as individual
because a Add an article
an individual
person
can only receive the benefits when they can understand them. For example
, learning in school can help people
proactive their
Change preposition
in their
finance
Replace the word
financial
plan
. Fix the agreement mistake
plans
Therefore
, they can decide what they want to do or to obtain. Thus
, regulations are only support tools in the development progress of the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Consequently
, each person
is knowing
what decisions made them better.
In conclusion, turning Wrong verb form
knows
the
children into good citizens and Correct article usage
apply
workers
are
only a number of Correct subject-verb agreement
is
benefits
of learning in Correct article usage
the benefits
schools
. The main purpose of schools
is to benefit students as individuals.Submitted by huong.bx on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction contains a clear thesis statement that sets up the structure of your essay and directly addresses the prompt.
Task Achievement
Work on expanding your ideas with clear, relevant examples to support your arguments and to directly address the essay topic.
Task Achievement
Avoid grammatical errors and typos, as these can hinder the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to logically connect ideas and paragraphs. It is important to guide the reader through your arguments coherently.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a conclusive sentence to help maintain a structured flow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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