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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #world #pineapple #exports #three #countries #breakdown #cost #consumer #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Given is the first bar chart
describing
Wrong verb form
describes
show examples
 the proceeds made by exporting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pineapples in 2009 and 2019.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 second pie chart
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the breakdown of
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
happened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to the customers for each
pineapple
Use synonyms
. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, there are three main countries mentioned to have the most pineapples exported.
Besides
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 seven types of expenses for the
pineapple
Use synonyms
’s consumers. As we can see, in 2009,
country
Use synonyms
 B sent out more than 4
million
Use synonyms
 metric tonnes of
pineapple
Use synonyms
 production for export.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 A reached the highest point at 10
million
Use synonyms
 metric tons, which increased nine times compared to 2009. When the
pineapple
Use synonyms
 exports of countries A and B were at 1
million
Use synonyms
 or more, the
pineapple
Use synonyms
 sent to another
country
Use synonyms
 for sales of
country
Use synonyms
 C in both 2009 and 2019 stayed stably at approximately 1
million
Use synonyms
. Regarding the chart, which represents the breakdown of
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 to the shoppers for each
pineapple
Use synonyms
, the types of pineapples were classified into seven types. Distribution and retail accounted for more than one-third of all the costs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the second rank belonged to profit funds recently, which account for 18% of the total cost.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 16% and 10% are occupied by tax services and import licenses.
Finally
Linking Words
, all the budgets for producers and exports added up to about 9%.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple, country, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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