IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Space research costs billions of dollars. Some people believe that the money should be invested on more practical projects here on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In
this
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 fast-paced world, scientists and
research
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 institutes spend billions of dollars on space study. Many people opine that
this
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 money should spent on earth
projects
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.
While
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 space
research
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 is thrilling and essential for technological advancement, I believe
this
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 expenditure can be invested in practical
projects
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 in our world like making rustic
places
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 habitable and reducing
poverty
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. On our planet, many
places
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 in the countryside are still not livable. For
employment
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, people are moving towards the town which developed adjacent
areas
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 of the city.
Therefore
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, a substantial population surge is noticeable in municipal
areas
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 in comparison with countryside
areas
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. Government and
research
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 institutes can finance sustainable
projects
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 to utilize these rural
places
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. Inauguration of the industrial zone or any other
employment
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 sector can be an option to transform rustic
places
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 into livable ones.
On the other hand
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,
poverty
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 is a barrier to economic prosperity. Needless to say, to make a growth in gross domestic potential in any country, the government
along with
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 public and private sectors should pay concentration to reduce the rate of
poverty
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 by creating
employment
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 opportunities for them. Poor people are deprived of drinking water facilities, sanitation, treatment, and education.
Projects
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 related to the betterment of their livelihood are crucial and should be financed. In conclusion, apart from space
research
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 funding, it will be beneficial to spend money on
projects
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 that are essential to make the Earth a better place to live. Upgrading countryside
areas
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 to tenantable and alleviating the
poverty
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 rate
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 the availability of
employment
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 and basic needs can be more practical
projects
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 to finance.

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Enhance the clarity of your main ideas by adding more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Connect paragraphs and sentences more seamlessly with a variety of linking words to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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