essay will discuss what advantages and disadvantages of
this
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Body paragraph 1
In my opinion
this
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is not true
that is
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because
this
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situation can impact
children
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's behavior
Body paragraph 2
Every
parents
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want to bring up their
children
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in the good condition
such
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as: modern house or high-class schools,with a lot of
toys
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and enough money So they are try to buy everything the
children
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want like
toys
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There are many drawbacks of
this
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situation
Body paragraph 3
Firstly
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it make
children
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stubborn,jealous and arrogant
Then
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buying many
toys
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demanding a lot of money It can be give birth to financially difficulties for
parents
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Body paragraph 4
On other hand every
children
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want to be own their
toys
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In my opinion if people did not play with
toys
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in their childhood theywill be less creativity
Conclusion
To sum up
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parents
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have to buy enough
toys
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for their
children
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but not much and they have to purchase useful
toys
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for instant : legos or puzzles The
toys
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can improve
children
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's mental activities and their creativities
saydusmonovasomiddin94
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline and summarize the main points. Consider using more traditional structures for essays, such as having a distinct introduction with a thesis statement and a conclusion that restates the main points and provides a final thought.
logical structure
Your ideas need to be organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Use transitional phrases to help the reader understand the flow of your thoughts from one paragraph to the next. Maintain consistency in your tenses and viewpoints throughout the essay.
supported main points
Develop your points further by using concrete examples and explanations. Your arguments would be stronger if you used specific, detailed examples instead of general statements.
complete response
You need to directly address the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. Your response leans heavily towards the disadvantages, making it seem incomplete. Make sure to elaborate on both sides equally and provide clear examples for each.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity by organizing your ideas logically. Use proper essay format, including an introduction, body paragraphs (each with a single clear idea), and a conclusion. Additionally, make sure your ideas are comprehensive and easy to understand.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples when discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large number of toys. Examples help to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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