Some people buy their children a large number of toys to play with.what are the advantages and disadvantages of having large number of toys.

#people #children #toys

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Nowadays, some

parents

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buy their

children

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lots of

toys

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to play with

This

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essay will discuss what advantages and disadvantages of

this

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In my opinion

this

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is not true

that is

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because

this

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situation can impact

children

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's behavior Every

parents

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want to bring up their

children

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in the good condition

such

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as: modern house or high-class schools,with a lot of

toys

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and enough money So they are try to buy everything the

children

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want like

toys

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There are many drawbacks of

this

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situation

Firstly

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it make

children

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stubborn,jealous and arrogant

Then

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buying many

toys

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demanding a lot of money It can be give birth to financially difficulties for

parents

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On other hand every

children

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want to be own their

toys

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In my opinion if people did not play with

toys

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in their childhood theywill be less creativity

To sum up

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parents

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have to buy enough

toys

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for their

children

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but not much and they have to purchase useful

toys

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for instant : legos or puzzles The

toys

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can improve

children

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's mental activities and their creativities

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Tue Nov 21 2023

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introduction conclusion present

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline and summarize the main points. Consider using more traditional structures for essays, such as having a distinct introduction with a thesis statement and a conclusion that restates the main points and provides a final thought.

logical structure

Your ideas need to be organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Use transitional phrases to help the reader understand the flow of your thoughts from one paragraph to the next. Maintain consistency in your tenses and viewpoints throughout the essay.

supported main points

Develop your points further by using concrete examples and explanations. Your arguments would be stronger if you used specific, detailed examples instead of general statements.

complete response

You need to directly address the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. Your response leans heavily towards the disadvantages, making it seem incomplete. Make sure to elaborate on both sides equally and provide clear examples for each.

clear comprehensive ideas

Strive for clarity by organizing your ideas logically. Use proper essay format, including an introduction, body paragraphs (each with a single clear idea), and a conclusion. Additionally, make sure your ideas are comprehensive and easy to understand.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate relevant and specific examples when discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large number of toys. Examples help to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

175 words

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Some people buy their children a large number of toys to play with.what are the advantages and disadvantages of having large number of toys.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Technologies like AI and Robotics are automating many human jobs and helping to maximize company profits. However, this may result in a new wave of mass unemployment and government should step in to regulate these fields. Discuss arguments for both sides and give your opinion.