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Band 6

Some people believe that everyone has the right to receive university education, so the government should make it free to all people regardless of their faincial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #right #university #education #government #background
Some
people
 think that all
people
 have the right to get a university
education
, so it has to be made free by the government for all students regardless of their financial background. I totally agree with the statement because we can create a better life if
education
 is free.
Firstly
,
education
 is one of the most important things which can create a better life.
In other words
, everyone needs a good
education
 to be professional in their jobs so without studying they can not help their
countries
.
As a result
, these
countries
 will be unable to be among the strongest
countries
.
Secondly
,
education
 should be free because not everyone can afford the amount of money to study.
That is
 to say, many
people
 are not able to afford their needs so how can they pay for their
education
?
For example
,
people
 who want to study at universities are supposed to pay a large amount of money depending on their majors.
Hence
, most of them will resort to looking for jobs and they will not continue studying.
Thirdly
, when governments do not help these
people
 there will be a huge percentage of
people
 who will leave their
countries
 looking for a better quality of life.
Therefore
, the governments will lose a lot of local
people
.
To sum up
,
while
people
 may vary in their opinions, I believe that everyone must be allowed to study for free since it might be helpful for the
countries
 to improve. Governments have to help
people
 who have limited income.
Submitted by asomm5563 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction more effectively paraphrases the question and clearly states your position.
task achievement
Develop your main points by providing more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating stronger topic sentences to lead into your supporting paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to organize your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points of your essay and reflects back on your thesis statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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