IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
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In recent times, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 define the success as a richness.
this
Linking Words
 essay will state that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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 not true to consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
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success as a person's salary or wealth
however
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 it is mainly related
with
Change preposition
to
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 a person's skills.
To begin
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 with,
although
Linking Words
 the majority believes that if they become
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
, they will have enough money,
i
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I
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 ponder that their desires cannot become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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real
due to
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 their education level and abilities. The society
encounter
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encounters
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 many businessmen who are not well-educated and professional but generate their revenue through the money-laundering.
To give
Verb problem
For
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance,
Polat
Correct article usage
the Polat
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 family who is famous in Turkey lost all their wealth in a day because all their entities were
the
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apply
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shell companies. So,
people
Use synonyms
 supposed that Polats were thriving and knew the ways of making a profit but the reality was different.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
scients
Correct your spelling
science
 and educated business persons of all the time state that
a
Remove the article
apply
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true attainment depends on
people
Use synonyms
's skills. The employees can move up the ladder
with
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by
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 demonstrating their best in the
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
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.
Additionally
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, a
talanted
Correct your spelling
talented
 investor can take risks,
then
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 manage the situation even
may
Verb problem
apply
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lose money in order to be well-known in the world.
For instance
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, Acun Ilicali, a former TV
representer
Correct your spelling
presenter
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 in Turkey, left his job at
the
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apply
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SHOW TV
for opening
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to open
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 his own company. Now Acun Ilicali is
a
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apply
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one of the
billioners
Correct your spelling
billionaires
billions
 in Turkey, he did it because he believed
his
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in his
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 management
as well as
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leadership
Add an article
a leadership
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 skill.
To sum up
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, the public debates that the humans'
affuluance
Correct your spelling
affluence
 is
main
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the main
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 indicator of their achievement. I would argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money is not
a
Correct article usage
the
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 case, the crucial one is to be
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
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 and qualified person
in
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at
show examples
 all
stage
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stages
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 of
the
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apply
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life, and
such
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kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 are real
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction accurately paraphrases the question prompt and clearly outlines your essay's structure. The presence of an introduction and conclusion is essential, along with re-stating your thesis in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the essay follows a logical structure. Use topic sentences to begin paragraphs and cohesive devices to connect your ideas.
supported main points
Develop each of your main points with explanations and examples. Support your arguments with relevant details to give them more weight and to demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
complete response
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. Include a clear opinion and support it with relevant examples. Ensure that the ideas and arguments you present comprehensively cover the essay topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in your writing. Develop your points in an organized manner and ensure that your ideas are understood by the reader. Avoid repetition and be concise.
relevant specific examples
Use specific and relevant examples to back up your points. This will add depth to your essay and show that you have a range of knowledge related to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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