Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
suggest to
adolescents Change preposition
that
to
leave the house Fix the infinitive
apply
that is
owned by their parents
as soon as they turn into adults
, but some others think that they should stay there for a long time. Teenagers should leave their home
as soon as they can in order to Fix the agreement mistake
homes
be learn
how to survive on their own.
Many Change the verb form
learn
people
believe that early adults
shouldn’t leave their home
. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
This
is because they should spend more time with their parents
. Parents
get older they can’t take care of their self or loneliness will take over them. They need some company to talk to and going to nursery place
would feel like shame, Fix the agreement mistake
places
for
this
reason
their child should be there for them. Add the comma(s)
reason,
In addition
, parents
get sick because of it. This
because
Add a missing verb
is because
according to
science loneliness is main
cause of sickness for elderly Add an article
the main
people
.
Some others argue that teenager
should move out of the house as soon as they turn adult. To be able to learn how to solve Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
the
problems and not to always rely on Correct article usage
apply
parents
. By meaning
that Wrong verb form
means
adults
usually rely on their parents
for some problems like money, law
. Correct word choice
and law
This
is usually caused by not experiencing hardship in their life. Another cause for adults
to leaving
their Wrong verb form
leave
home
to start their own Fix the agreement mistake
homes
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
to
be able to do things they want to do
Add a missing verb
is to
Large
number of Change the article
A large
The large
people
recommend that teenagers to
move out as they turn Fix the infinitive
apply
adult
, at the same others advise them to stay with their Fix the agreement mistake
adults
parents
as long as they can. From my part of the
Correct article usage
apply
view
adolescents should move out to be able to know Add a comma
view,
meaning
of living and what they going Add an article
the meaning
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
though
in the future.Correct your spelling
through
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and precision in expressing ideas. Avoid using repetitive phrases and ensure each paragraph presents a clear, unique point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by organizing ideas into a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that links to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop arguments with well-supported points. Use relevant, specific examples to illustrate claims, and ensure they directly relate to the questions posed.
task achievement
To fully achieve the task, respond to all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Provide a balanced discussion of both views and a clear, reasoned opinion.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity and comprehensibility of ideas. Present them systematically, ensuring each point is fully expounded upon before moving to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and explanation to substantiate the claims made. Ensure examples are directly relevant to your points and the overall topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.