IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Arguments have come up with regard to the question of where the best place for living can be, as some
people
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 might choose rural
areas
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 because of their peace and quiet atmosphere,
while
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 others prefer to live an urban
life
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 with all the facilities it provides. In
this
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 essay, both views will be discussed in detail, and
then
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 I will give my personal opinion on
this
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 matter. Despite the ever-increasing rate of rural-urban migration, there still are so many
people
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 who would rather stay in their villages. The most important reason for
this
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 preference could be driven
from
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by
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 the fact that rural
life
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 tends to bring
people
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 more peace than city
life
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. In these
areas
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, there is no
such
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 thing as traffic congestion which is mostly responsible for all the stresses and strains that are exerting a great deal of pressure on
people
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's minds in megacities.
Besides
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, most
people
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 in small towns work
in
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on
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 their own farms, so when it comes to job security, unlike the urban citizens, they do not have to be worried about anything like being unemployed.
Consequently
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, we can conclude that living in small towns could be less stressful than
cities
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. Having said that, the vast majority of the population in every developed country dwells in metropolitan
areas
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disrespect
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disrespecting
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to
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apply
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some above-mentioned negative aspects.
Cities
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 are packed with numerous educational and vocational opportunities that can guarantee one's future
life
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. Students who have studied in the most prestigious schools of big
cities
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 proved to be more successful with their higher education and respectively managed to land better jobs after graduation.
In addition
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 to that, facilities and amenities
such
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 as huge shopping centres and well-equipped sports clubs have made city
life
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 more attractive to
people
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.
As a result
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, most citizens are so accustomed to the convenience of inhabiting urban
areas
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 that they are unlikely to leave their
cities
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 for a healthier
life
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 in rural
areas
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. In conclusion, both urban and rural
areas
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 have their own benefits and drawbacks for living, and
this
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 can be a personal matter to decide which one is better.
However
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, I believe that problems of living in huge metropolitan
areas
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 like traffic congestion can simply be resolved if governments and local authorities take some feasible enhancing the public transport systems so that make urban
life
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 easier and preferable to rural
life
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.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Be sure to write clear and fully developed introduction and conclusion paragraphs that encapsulate the main points of your essay. Your introduction briefly touches on the topics discussed but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement. The conclusion is incomplete and does not sufficiently summarize your discussion or restate your personal opinion effectively. Always allocate enough time and effort to properly introduce and conclude your discourse.
Logical Structure
Work on enhancing the logical progression of your ideas. While you have presented fairly logical points in your discussion, transitions between them can be smoother. You should leverage a broader range of cohesive devices and sequencing words to ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Focus on linking your ideas within paragraphs as well as between them to reinforce the overall structure of your essay.
Complete Response
Your essay addresses the task and provides relevant ideas and examples, but you must ensure that a complete response is provided by fully elaborating on each point and maintaining relevance throughout. In some instances, the examples or points provided lack depth or could be more explicitly tied to the central claim of the paragraph. Aim for comprehensive development of each claim you make, ensuring that all examples are detailed and precisely illustrate the point being discussed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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