IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #interaction #teacher #classroom
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Everyone will have their opinion based on their
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comfort
.
According to
 some people studying through
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
 interaction will
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
effectiveness
Replace the word
effective
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.
While other
Correct word choice
Other
show examples
 people argue that
online
Correct article usage
the online
show examples
 mode of learning can be effective. The classroom study
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
also
 termed as
offline
Correct article usage
an offline
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 mode of education.
This
 type of learning is done through
student teacher
Add a hyphen
student-teacher
show examples
 interaction about the respective topics which they are going to learn for the day. Based on my point of view
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would strongly agree
on
Change preposition
apply
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that knowledge can be gained when we start to ask questions.
Moreover
, apart from
content
Add an article
the content
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Add an article
a textbook
the textbook
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textbook
Fix the agreement mistake
textbooks
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 or
studymaterial
Correct your spelling
study material
 the
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 experience will be gained when
expertise
Replace the word
experts
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share
Change the verb form
shares
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 their ideologies. A good example would be observation. The teacher will observe each person to know where they lack and perform corrective actions to push
that individuals
Change the determiner
that individual
those individuals
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 to their limits.
The online
Correct article usage
Online
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 learning has started to boom
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
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 century. In
this
method
Add a comma
method,
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 we can study
about
Change preposition
apply
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anything via easily accessible gadgets like mobile phones, desktops, laptops, tablets etc. In
this
type
Add a comma
type,
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 we can study on our own with online books, recorded sessions and other
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
sources. I agree to a point that states that
while
 we need to get any information to learn about new topics,
improvise
Correct word choice
or improvise
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 skills we usually go to online references. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance couple of students working on their project have some doubts/questions to get
understanding
Correct article usage
an understanding
show examples
 about something. In
this
case
Add a comma
case,
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 the data present
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 various social platforms can be used as a
guidance
Replace the word
guide
show examples
 to quick effective
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
. The learning can be done through any way to
improvise
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 their knowledge. At end of
Add an article
the day
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day
Add a comma
day,
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 it's only about what we gained and not about how we got it. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would agree that both
mode
Change to a plural noun
modes
show examples
 of education will be useful in
improvising
Verb problem
improving
show examples
 their understanding towards a topic.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay requires a clear introduction that presents a thesis statement, outlining your position about the topic. The conclusion needs to summarize the main points and restate your viewpoint more firmly. Having a clear introductory paragraph is paramount in setting a foundation for a well-structured essay. Similarly, an explicit conclusion is essential in providing a satisfying closure.
logical structure
There's a noticeable effort to organize ideas, but the logical flow could be considerably improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smoother, and there should be a clear distinction between paragraphs for each view, as well as a separate paragraph for your own opinion. Moreover, each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and maintain focus on that single idea.
supported main points
Main points need to be expanded with more detailed examples and explanations. Avoid making broad statements without providing specific evidence to support them. Use real-life instances or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points, as they will heighten the level of engagement and persuasive power of your essay.
complete response
The task requires a discussion of both views and your own opinion. While you've attempted to do so, the response would benefit from a clearer stance and more detailed analysis. Make sure that your opinion is distinguishable and adequately justified throughout.
clear comprehensive ideas
relevant specific examples
The essay would greatly benefit from providing real-world examples that specifically support your points. Generic references to technology and social platforms lack specificity. Draw on more concrete examples, like referencing specific studies, educational methodologies, or statistical data that can provide tangible support for your statements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediate feedback
  • retention of information
  • sense of community
  • social and communication skills
  • controlled learning environment
  • flexibility in scheduling
  • online resources and tools
  • cater to different learning styles
  • learn at their own pace
  • complex subjects
What to do next:
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