IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Academic-Task1 The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Academic-Task1 The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates the
sugar
Use synonyms
 production procedure from
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is
readly
Correct your spelling
readily
really
ready
apparant
Correct your spelling
apparent
 that,
this
Linking Words
 linear manufacturing process consists
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 major seven stages. It starts from cultivating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
 and
end
Change the verb form
ends
show examples
 up with
sugar
Use synonyms
 as a finished good.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane cultivation takes 12-18 months
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 complete the
grown
Replace the word
growth
show examples
. There are two different ways available
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 conduct harvesting.
The heavy
Correct article usage
Heavy
show examples
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
 or human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 are used
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 complete the job. After that, harvested
canes
Use synonyms
under go
Correct your spelling
undergo
show examples
 the production process. The crushing machines are responsible for
extract
Wrong verb form
extracting
show examples
 juice from
canes
Use synonyms
. Later,
obtained
Correct article usage
the obtained
show examples
 juice is gone through a purification process using a Limestone filter. The fifth step is making syrup by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evaporation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, heat is utilized as the energy
sorce
Correct your spelling
source
 which is required to operate the Evaporator.
Then
Linking Words
, the separation step
is taken
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 place through a Centrifuge which is responsible
to separate
Change preposition
for separating
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals from
sugar
Use synonyms
 syrup. At the final
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 can be obtained as a finished product after the drying and cooling.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: