Some people think computers and the Internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The invention of
computers
and internet
have changed the world widely over the past few years. It has Correct article usage
the internet
defintely
had many advantages Correct your spelling
definitely
as well as
disadvantages especially
to the younger generation in relation to studying. In my Add the comma(s)
, especially
opinon
, Correct your spelling
opinion
although
computers
and Correct article usage
the internet
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
has
played an important role in Change the verb form
have
children
's study and but
I truly believe that students can learn more effectively in Correct word choice
apply
schoold
and with Correct your spelling
school
schools
teachers
.
There are many benefits of learning in schools and with teachers
. Children
will learn social skills
in which they learn to interact and communicate with teachers
and friends. Learning about respecting and how to treat each other politely and kind
. They will Change the word
kindly
also
learn the importance of teamwork and the importance of working together in a team and how it can benefi
them. Correct your spelling
benefit
Moreover
, learning in schools also
allows children
to build confidence as they will have the opportunity to ask questions, and learn how to solve problems. Also
teaches them not to be afraid to ask questions and not to be afraid to be wrong. These social skills
, teamwork, building
of confidence are Correct word choice
and building
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
skills
that these children
will use in their
future, at their workplaces, with their friends, Change the word
the
familities
.
Correct your spelling
families
However
, with the introduction of computers
and internet
, there are certain benefits as well. By using the Correct article usage
the internet
internet
, children
will be able continuously
learn new things Fix the infinitive
to continuously
due to
the widespread of
information that can be found Change preposition
apply
in
the Change preposition
on
internet
. As much as it can be informative and helps them build their general knowledge, there are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
also
a lot of negative information that can available
that might influence the Add a missing verb
be available
children
to go on wrong
path as well. Not forgetting, once the Change the article
the wrong
children
are aware of the
what can be found on the Correct article usage
apply
internet
, using the computer can be a form of addiction as well. Lastly
, too much of
screen time, Change preposition
apply
Correct word choice
and being
being expose
to Change the verb form
being exposed
the
Correct article usage
apply
computers
,
can cause harm to their eyes at Remove the comma
apply
such
a young age as well.
To sum up
, I strongly believe children
will benefit more when they learn in schools and with teachers
as the skills
they learn will last
for a lifelong
.Correct word choice
long time
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Coherence & Cohesion
You have demonstrated a basic logical structure in your essay, but need clearer transitions and better paragraphing to improve clarity and flow. Utilize a range of cohesive devices effectively and aim for a more sophisticated structure.
Task Achievement
Your response addresses the task, but your position and opinion should be clear in the introduction. Ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed throughout the essay. Strengthen your response by expanding on ideas with more detailed examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.