The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
people
who argue about
a Change preposition
that
business
has been focusing to make
Change preposition
on making
money
. On the other hand
, there are people
who think that money
is one
of the priority
but not Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
one
and only purposes
. Personally, I agree that Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
money
is important because people
must pay for housing, food, and buy anything they want; however
, the connections and friendships that might have build
in between Change the verb form
built
also
valuable.
There are several arguments to support the idea Add a missing verb
are also
about
Change preposition
that
main
focus of doing Add an article
the main
business
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
about
Change preposition
apply
money
. The most predominant one
is that people
think with money
they will get everything while
for some people
money
just
a result of working hard and the most Add a missing verb
is just
tresure
is the work connections. Correct your spelling
treasure
For example
, people
who are focusing to get
Change preposition
on getting
money
usually just focus to gain
profits, in Change preposition
on gaining
this
condition they do not hesitate to kill other people
's business
.
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
However
, building exemplary
mindset as Correct article usage
an exemplary
a
owner of Change the article
an
business
with Add an article
a business
the business
money
not
as main priority and Add a missing verb
is not
build
relationships with numerous Wrong verb form
building
people
who might help them in the future. Moreover
, the process to achieve in business
also
precious. Add a missing verb
is also
For example
, if people
just focus on money
and the problems come to their business
, there is no one
people
who Fix the agreement mistake
person
want
to help them; Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
nevertheless
, with connection they have it
can help them when there is Correct pronoun usage
apply
problem
with their Add an article
a problem
the problem
business
.
In conclusion, money
is valuable but just concentrate
on Wrong verb form
concentrating
money
in business
is not a
excellent idea. Change the article
an
However
, without money
, sometimes we cannot do anything. Therefore
, money
is important but there are other person
Change the wording
people
equal
precious like Change the word
equally
money
.Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic, the argument could be bolstered with clearer examples and a more thorough exploration of the implications of the viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, logical progression of ideas, and a concise conclusion. Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and ensure your paragraphs flow well from one to the next.