IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Topic: Technology and its impact on society Question: In recent years, advancements in technology have transformed various aspects of society. Discuss both the positive and negative impacts of technology on individuals and communities. Provide relevant examples and your own opinion.

#topic #technology #impact #society #years #advancements #aspects #impacts #individuals #communities
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For the past decades, the advancement of
technology
 has disrupted various aspects of society in our
life
.
Although
 it has
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 impact that leads to better
life
 quality in the world,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there are still some negative impacts related to it.
This
 essay will explore both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
viewpoints regarding the development of
technology
 in
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 and
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
. On the one hand, many
people
 are optimistic about the development of
technology
 these days, mainly
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
. They argue that it has
the
Add a missing verb
had the
show examples
 biggest impact
in
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on
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 since the first time it was discovered by tech
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
.
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 makes everything significantly way easier to conduct
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities, from school, workplace, or even government, they always have something to do with the usage of
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
in
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on
show examples
their
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a
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 daily basis.
For instance
,
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
 makes us connected regardless
where
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of where
show examples
 we are,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is incredibly useful for communication and exchanging information without even
needed
Wrong verb form
needing
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 to meet by face-to-face interaction.
On the other hand
, some
people
 choose to be
pesimistics
Correct your spelling
pessimistic
pessimists
 because the fear of
technology
 will someday dominate humanity. The invention of artificial intelligence, and robots
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 frightening to some
people
 who believe
about
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apply
show examples
it. They predict that those technologies could
lead
Verb problem
put
show examples
 our community at high risk if it is not prevented carefully and seriously.
Correct article usage
The Dissapearance
show examples
Dissapearance
Correct your spelling
Disappearance
 of some professions,
for example
, are the cause of
technology
 shifting in the workplace environment.
Due to
 the cheaper adoption over the past years, slowly
human is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 replaced by AI to carry out some tasks more efficiently. In conclusion,
although
 the development of
technology
 has produced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
such
 as
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 way easier
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 the usage of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
,
technology
also
 has brought
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some negativity in our society
such
 as some
people
 losing their jobs
due to
 AI.
Submitted by pedrothedawn on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the key points that will be discussed.
supported main points
Provide a more balanced discussion by equally treating both positive and negative impacts with appropriate examples.
introduction conclusion present
Offer a more detailed conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and clearly states your own opinion on the matter.
complete response
Develop your ideas more fully to meet the task requirements, including a clearer exposition of your own opinion on the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on the clarity of your ideas, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details, with appropriate transitions between them.
relevant specific examples
Use more relevant examples to illustrate the points made in the essay, ensuring they are specific and enhance the explanation of the impacts of technology.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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