IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Littering in cities is an increasing problem which needs to be dealt with. Some people think that steeper fines is the best way to deal with the problem. To what extent do you agree?

#cities #people #fines
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The rising number of
waste
Use synonyms
 in the
cities
Use synonyms
 become a big problem and the
governtment
Correct your spelling
government
 needs a good strategy to deal with
this
Linking Words
 global issue. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that increasing the nominal of
fines
Use synonyms
 will be
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
 way to reduce
Use synonyms
litters
Fix the agreement mistake
litter
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, because
Use synonyms
litters
Fix the agreement mistake
litter
show examples
 in the city cannot be avoided and it would be difficult to implement
this
Linking Words
 regulation. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
for most
, the growth of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 population in
cities
Use synonyms
 will always increase year by year
due to
Linking Words
 the
brain draining
Add a hyphen
brain-draining
show examples
 phenomenon.
This
Linking Words
 case
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 number of litter especially household
waste
Use synonyms
 like food, plastics, and detergents.
By forcing
Change preposition
Forcing
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fines
Use synonyms
 will not
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
 any positive impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem, since the consumers of
daily
Correct your spelling
dairy
show examples
 products in the city will grow rapidly as high as the increasing human population.
For example
Linking Words
, there are more than 500000
people
Use synonyms
 in the productive age category who migrate from rural areas to Jakarta (a metropolitan city in Indonesia) each year,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 its yearly
Use synonyms
litters
Fix the agreement mistake
litter
show examples
 increase
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 10%. So, steeping
fines
Use synonyms
 could not
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 as a way to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
litters
Fix the agreement mistake
litter
show examples
, because it will always grow equally with the human population.
Second,
Linking Words
it is not easy to control the implementation of
this
Linking Words
police
Correct your spelling
policy
show examples
 because the
enomerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
cities
Use synonyms
 are unequal
compered
Correct your spelling
compared
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the number of
polices
Correct subject-verb agreement
police
show examples
 or public officers who can
surpervise
Correct your spelling
supervise
this
Linking Words
 rule.
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
 reason is unawearness of the
degerous
Correct your spelling
danger
 of over-
waste
Use synonyms
 pollution,
as a result
Linking Words
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 implement zero
waste
Use synonyms
 in their daily life activities,
for instance
Linking Words
, using shopping bags rather than single-used plastic. Those two reasons indicate that
fines
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not applicable to fix
this
Linking Words
waste
Use synonyms
 problem.
To sum up
Linking Words
, adding amount of
fines
Use synonyms
 will not
much
Rephrase
be very
show examples
 helpful for dealing with littering in
cities
Use synonyms
. The alternative solution that the government can do is
create
Fix the infinitive
to create
show examples
 a system to manage all
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
litters
Fix the agreement mistake
litter
show examples
 to become other
produts
Correct your spelling
products
 or it is
also
Linking Words
possibe
Correct your spelling
possible
 to change that into energy.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences. They must logically flow from one to the other, employing cohesive devices effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
State the main points clearly, expanding upon them with adequate support like data or anecdotal evidence. Avoid unsupported claims.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task sufficiently. Include a clear opinion and ensure that your view is consistent throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure ideas are developed comprehensively. Elaborating on points with more examples or explained arguments would be beneficial.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support the arguments. Real-world evidence or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen the writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban sanitation
  • Deterrence
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Public awareness
  • Civic responsibility
  • Enforcement measures
  • Sanctions
  • Penalties
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Behavioral change
  • Socio-economic impact
  • Cost-effective
  • Infrastructure for waste management
  • Community service
  • Sustainable practices
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