The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

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The

technology driving

Add a hyphen

technology-driving

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world

lead

Wrong verb form

led

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expand

Replace the word

the expansion

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the marketing and establishment of online stores on a

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

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therefore

Linking Words

some people view

this

Linking Words

technology of shopping

Correct word choice

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obscure the shops in the city and I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

perspective

Firstly

Linking Words

,Many

individual

Change to a plural noun

individuals

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are convinces

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are convinced

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going

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their self

Correct pronoun usage

themself

themselves

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to markers

for

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selection

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select

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suitable items and check the material

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apply

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size

for instance

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must

Correct your spelling

most

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apply

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markets have

dressing

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a dressing

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room for customer to check their size which she does not found

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the app shops

secondly

Linking Words

shopping is a kind of entertainment activities But

also

Linking Words

a passionate for someone. Particularly the girls .

while

Linking Words

Wrong verb form

going

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by yourself you

would

Wrong verb form

will

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notice other stuff which will expand the criteria of choosing the most

convenience

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convenient

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reasons for me they are fake

website

Fix the agreement mistake

websites

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West End to fraud and scams and have a variety of mistakes

such

Linking Words

as a

delay

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delayed

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delivery on the exact time I miss matching of the items with the order

finally

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I would

sayThe

Correct your spelling

say

technology and Internet are have endless benefits and offers comfortable

live

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living

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The human being but in my

Way

Fix capitalization

way

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of thinking,We should be aware and careful

while

Linking Words

shopping online

enasawad68Wed Nov 22 2023

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Improvement Suggestions

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear structure and logical sequence, making it challenging to follow the argument. Consider using paragraphs to separate your introduction, main points, and conclusion, which will enhance the overall coherence. Additionally, employing linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly is essential for cohesion.

task achievement

The response to the task is underdeveloped. You should state your opinion clearly and directly in the introduction. Make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt with relevant ideas and support. Expand on your main points with developed arguments, clear explanations, and relevant examples for a full and complete response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

191 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

e-commerce
brick-and-mortar
physical stores
online retailers
retail apocalypse
digital economy
consumer behavior
sustainability
commercial landscape
high-street
consumer trends
augmented reality
showrooms
carbon footprint

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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Improvement Suggestions

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?