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Band 2

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
The
technology driving
Add a hyphen
technology-driving
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 world
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to
expand
Replace the word
the expansion
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on
Change preposition
of
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 the marketing and establishment of online stores on a
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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therefore
 some people view
this
 technology of shopping
or
Correct word choice
as
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 obscure the shops in the city and I totally disagree with
this
 perspective
Firstly
,Many
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
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are convinces
Change the verb form
are convinced
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 to
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 by
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
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 to markers
for
Change preposition
to
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selection
Replace the word
select
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 suitable items and check the material
on
Change preposition
apply
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size
for instance
must
Correct your spelling
most
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of
Change preposition
apply
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markets have
dressing
Add an article
a dressing
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 room for customer to check their size which she does not found
on
Change preposition
in
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 the app shops
secondly
 shopping is a kind of entertainment activities But
also
 a passionate for someone. Particularly the girls .
while
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 by yourself you
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 notice other stuff which will expand the criteria of choosing the most
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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 reasons for me they are fake
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
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 West End to fraud and scams and have a variety of mistakes
such
 as a
delay
Change the verb form
delayed
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 delivery on the exact time I miss matching of the items with the order
finally
 I would
sayThe
Correct your spelling
say
 technology and Internet are have endless benefits and offers comfortable
live
Change the form of the verb
living
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 The human being but in my
Way
Fix capitalization
way
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 of thinking,We should be aware and careful
while
 shopping online
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear structure and logical sequence, making it challenging to follow the argument. Consider using paragraphs to separate your introduction, main points, and conclusion, which will enhance the overall coherence. Additionally, employing linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly is essential for cohesion.
task achievement
The response to the task is underdeveloped. You should state your opinion clearly and directly in the introduction. Make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt with relevant ideas and support. Expand on your main points with developed arguments, clear explanations, and relevant examples for a full and complete response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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