In some cultures,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough

In many cultures,children are frequently given the letter that they can accomplish anything if they
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
hard enough.
While
this
information has some advantages,it
also
has certain disadvantages that must be taken into consideration.
This
essay will outline both the advantages and demerits of the practice. Children can get drive and self-confidence from
this
,which is one advantage.offspring are more likely to
preserve
Verb problem
persevere
show examples
through challenging activities and disappointments when they are taught to think that everything is possible with effort and commitment.They may gain valuable abilities from
this
,like resilience,self-efficacy,and a growth mentality.If a youngster is taught they can do everything they set their mind to,
for example
,they could be more open to taking on new tasks,even if they seem intimidating at first.If the youngest believes they can acquire a new talent or engage in an activity they are not yet adapted to,they could be more inclined to try it. But there can be some negative aspects to
this
directive as well.First of all,it could instill in kids irrational expectations,and chances they need to achieve.
Furthermore
, if kids are taught all their life that
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
job is the key to success they would not see the importance of other elements like education,privilege,luck and social structures.If they do not get the results they want,
this
might eventually lead to emotions of dissatisfaction,guilt,and demotivation. In conclusion,
while
the report that offspring can achieve anything through hard production has benefits in rearm of confidence and motivation,it is
also
important to consider the potential drawbacks.It is hoped that parents and teachers will encourage young offspring to industry hard
while
also
taking into account other factors important for success.
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coherence cohesion
You should structure your essay more effectively by using clear and concise paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows logically from the one before it.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more distinct and clear. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your position, while the conclusion should succinctly summarise the main points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Provide more support for your main points with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and informative.
task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. While you addressed both sides of the argument, the essay could benefit from deeper exploration and a more nuanced discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Clarity and comprehensiveness in developing your ideas are key to an effective essay. Be more explicit in explaining how your points support your argument and ensure that the connection to the topic is always evident.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. While you touched upon some examples, these could be expanded on to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and to provide tangible evidence for your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perseverance
  • Resilience
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Goal-setting
  • Work ethic
  • Ambitious
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Frustration
  • Inadequate
  • Overemphasis
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Mental health
  • Resource availability
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