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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliance and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliance and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019
#show #changes #ownership #appliance #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The line graphs illustrate how the ownership of electrical devices changed and the
number
Use synonyms
 of hours spent
in
Change preposition
on
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 housework in households in a single state between 1920 and 2019. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that usage of electrical devices has increased. In 1980, refrigerator reached the peak of the amount.. As well, vacuum cleaners
also
Linking Words
 acquired their highest
number
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, there was a fluctuation in washing machines throughout the period.
While
Linking Words
 looking at the
number
Use synonyms
 of hours versus
years
Use synonyms
, it clearly showed a decrease.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1920, the refrigerator percentage was close to zero.
Next,
Linking Words
30
years
Use synonyms
, it has obtained
a
Correct article usage
apply
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substantial growth
while
Linking Words
compairing
Correct your spelling
comparing
 to others. Utilization of washing machines started at 40%, and it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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obtained slight growth until 1960.
Further
Linking Words
, there was a
miner
Correct your spelling
minor
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 decrease in 198. Within the next 20
years
Use synonyms
, it was responsible for the escalation. There was a constant growth of vacuum cleaners from 1920 to 2000. After that, it has been established at 100% up to 2019. The
number
Use synonyms
 of hours per week started at 50 in 1920.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, there was a drastic drop until 960.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a minute decrease
Change preposition
in responsible
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for the next 60
years
Use synonyms
. Between the 1980s and 2000s, the graph showed a consistency curve.
Submitted by shanikamaduri on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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