The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays
people
rely on the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
to interrupt
with Verb problem
interact
friends
and families. More and more people
consider this
trendency
is better than face-to-face. I will claim that the upsides of using social Correct your spelling
tendency
media
do not outwiegh
the downsides.
The use of social Correct your spelling
outweigh
media
may bring two benefits in this
century. Firstly
, it is fast to update new information from social media
. For example
, people
like to share pictures with friends
when they go to
a trip. They do not need to show Change preposition
on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
picture
face-to-face and their Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
friends
can get the pictures immedicately
. Correct your spelling
immediately
Moreover
, it is easy to make new friends
on the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
, such
as Facebook. There are many groups on Facebook and people
can join its
to meet new Change the pronoun
it
friends
from different countries.
Regardless of the benefits above, using social media
to contact with
Change preposition
apply
people
should be more carefully considered. To begin
with, people
will be easy to forget how to type the words
of their language correctly. In recent years, there are
many online Wrong verb form
have been
words
to use in
the internet. Especially, young Change preposition
on
people
like to shorten words
and this
action makes them to
forget how to spell correct Change the verb form
apply
words
. In addition
, using social media
always mistakes for people
's emotions. When people
read the text, they could not differentiate between happiness and sadness. Sometimes, it is easy to make a mistake while
replying.
To sum up
, people
could surely benefit from using social media
becoming more convenient. However
, using social media
makes people
forget to spell words
and could not
realize others feeling Wrong verb form
cannot
while
reading the text.Submitted by pobbywang on
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Task Achievement
While the essay attempts an argument, the position taken is not always clear, and the introduction does not sufficiently present the topic or the writer's stance. Work on crafting a concise and clear thesis statement that clearly presents your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion effectively set up and summarize the essay's main points, allowing the reader to clearly understand the argument being made.
Task Achievement
The main points lack full support and development; examples are relevant but could be further expanded upon with detailed explanation and evidence to strengthen the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas with better use of linking words and cohesive devices. Aim for a more organized structure where each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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