Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in cities.what are the reasons? Do advantages of their developmenth outweigt it's disadvantages

It is argued by many that most youngster leaves their homes for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future for
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of reasons that hold
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better future,
while
other opine
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another opine
other opines
show examples
that,
to stay
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staying
show examples
in the
village
will be a better
option
.
this
essay we will
discussed
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discuss
show examples
both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
of the argument followed by
conclusion
Add an article
a conclusion
the conclusion
show examples
To begin
with, for
lavish
Correct article usage
a lavish
show examples
lifestyle and better opportunities one has to migrate from urban to rural
areas
where they offer more options.
firstly
, studying in
city
Add an article
a city
show examples
school and colleges offer
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of studies
option
and proper guidance that match your profession because it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
easier for students to study in that environment
secondly
, the more you live in town
areas
, the
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better career chances you get.
thus
, that
make
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makes
show examples
it
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
beneficial for
one
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
who are looking for jobs after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
graduation.
moreover
, it become
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier for girl to expand their skills and technique
upon
Change preposition
in
show examples
their stream of
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
or studying because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
village
school offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
courses that are simple and
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
none and no light of better courses to explore.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
a result, a better career need a better modern
areas
or places to go for
On the other hand
, some claimed that
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
option
for adults is to stay in the land of their
forfather
Correct your spelling
forefather
forefathers
for father
.
In other words
, we cannot deny the fact that
due to
technology,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation losing their sign of culture. for
insatnce
Correct your spelling
instance
, most students and work
employee
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employees
show examples
when they start living in the cities, there are 80%
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
that they adopt city culture and feel it
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
easier than their
village
culture.
Furthermore
, they are missing the beauty of nature and the chirping sound of birds started early at dawn. I believe that there is nothing wrong
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
studying or working
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
city
Add an article
a city
the city
show examples
street. but they should come to their
village
to spend some quality time with their parents and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
and provide aid to local people.
To conclude
, studying and working life in
citites
Correct your spelling
cities
are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
different than
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
areas
. life in rural places
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a quality
option
to choose
however
, it
also
helps
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to omit the
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
up values. ultimately they should not forget their roots once they are ready to leave.
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and structure, making it difficult to follow your argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting details that are well-linked.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clear introduction and conclusion. Both should be distinct and summarise your main points effectively, linking back to the essay question.
task achievement
You should use specific examples to support your points. Include data, anecdotes, or studies that directly relate to your arguments and enhance the essay's persuasive power.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay thoroughly addresses the task, providing a balanced discussion on the reasons for rural-urban migration and addressing both the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Your essay's ideas need to be more clearly and comprehensively developed. Expand on your points with more depth and nuanced argumentation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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