The pie chart below compare the water usage in San Diego, Carniforlia, and the rest of the world

The pie chart below compare the water usage in San Diego, Carniforlia, and the rest of the world
The pie charts provide information about the proportion of
water
usage in three different sectors (residential, industry,
agriculture
Correct word choice
and agriculture
show examples
) of
San
Diego
County,
California
and the
rest
of the
world
.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that
water
is most used for residential and industry in
San
Diego
and
California
. Meanwhile, in the
rest
of the
world
, agriculture is the sector that uses the most
water
.
According to
the charts,
water
used for residential purposes in
San
Diego
accounts for more than half, 60%,
while
the figures for
California
and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
countries in the
world
are lower, 39% and 8%, respectively.
In contrast
, the number of
water
used for agriculture in the
rest
of the
world
accounts for the highest proportion, 69%,
while
the figure for
San
Diego
and
California
is just about 17% and 28%, respectively.
However
, with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
to industry,
California
uses the most
water
. Meanwhile, both
San
Diego
and the
rest
of the
world
make up 23%.
Submitted by huyquang17406 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, san, diego, california, rest, world with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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