The pie chart below compare the water usage in San Diego, Carniforlia, and the rest of the world

The pie chart below compare the water usage in San Diego, Carniforlia, and the rest of the world
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The pie charts provide information about the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
usage in three different sectors (residential, industry,
agriculture
Correct word choice
and agriculture
show examples
) of
San
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Diego
Use synonyms
County,
California
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and the
rest
Use synonyms
of the
world
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
water
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is most used for residential and industry in
San
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Diego
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and
California
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. Meanwhile, in the
rest
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of the
world
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, agriculture is the sector that uses the most
water
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.
According to
Linking Words
the charts,
water
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used for residential purposes in
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
accounts for more than half, 60%,
while
Linking Words
the figures for
California
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and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
countries in the
world
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are lower, 39% and 8%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
water
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used for agriculture in the
rest
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of the
world
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accounts for the highest proportion, 69%,
while
Linking Words
the figure for
San
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Diego
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and
California
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is just about 17% and 28%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
to industry,
California
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uses the most
water
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. Meanwhile, both
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
and the
rest
Use synonyms
of the
world
Use synonyms
make up 23%.
Submitted by huyquang17406 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, san, diego, california, rest, world with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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