In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In the contemporary world, thinking
ptern
may vary in different people. In some communities Correct your spelling
patterns
advice
to their young generation to, if their Replace the word
advise
dedicaton
is hard enough, they may able to achieve better success. I believeCorrect your spelling
dedication
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
statement has several benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
to
children. Change preposition
for
This
essay would
discuss what are the strengths and Wrong verb form
will
weeknesses
in the mentioned statement in detail.
On the one hand, society has Correct your spelling
weaknesses
been
changed in the Unnecessary verb
apply
last
decade. Therefore
, a
substantial dedication is required to accomplish a particular task Correct article usage
apply
due to
the competition. hence
, parents are always tried to move their children forward with hard work
and motivation. For example
, in Sri Lanka, the education system is very competitive. Thus
, considerable hard work
is required to be a sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
student
. Further
, if some student
has a goal to enter to
the medical Change preposition
apply
collage
. the person needs to do a number of hard studies. Correct your spelling
college
Accordingly
. the
hard Correct article usage
apply
work
always provide
Change the verb form
provides
Correct article usage
a benifit
benifit
to Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
become
a successful person in society.
Wrong verb form
becoming
On the other hand
, in the sports field, it is obvious, the
solid Correct determiner usage
that
practiceses
Correct your spelling
practice
are
needed to become a winner in Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
particular Correct article usage
a
sports
. Owing to that students Fix the agreement mistake
sport
are
often require strong practice every day. Unnecessary verb
apply
For instance
, Add an article
a student
the student
student
who Fix the agreement mistake
students
are engage
in Change the verb form
are engaged
swimmimg
, Correct your spelling
swimming
they
need more than 5 hours Correct pronoun usage
apply
exercise
per day. Unlike Change preposition
of exercise
to
other sports, swimming is a Change preposition
apply
tuff
sport which involves Correct word choice
tough
Correct article usage
the hole
hole
body of Correct your spelling
whole
Correct article usage
a sportman
sportman
. In Correct your spelling
sportsman
sportsmen
this
scenario, this
type of hard work
may leads
to physical and Change the verb form
lead
mental
unwell. Change the adjective
mentally
Due to
this
circumstance, hard working
does not allow advantage always, it has a negative impact too.
Replace the word
work
To conclude
, eventhough
some Correct your spelling
even though
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
considered
hard Wrong verb form
consider
work
has
a dark side, it drives children in many Change the verb form
to have
benificial
ways. Despite the weakness of hard Correct your spelling
beneficial
working
. I trust that it provides Replace the word
work
a
various Correct article usage
apply
improvement
in Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
student
life. Hard work
directed them to becomea
Correct your spelling
become a
become
hero
in the world.Fix the agreement mistake
heroes
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coherence cohesion
Ensure introduction includes a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the advantages and disadvantages of the message given to children.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing appropriately to separate your ideas, making sure each paragraph has a clear central topic.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and clear explanations. Avoid general statements without clear support.
task achievement
Fully address the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. The essay should balance both sides of the argument to meet the response requirements.
task achievement
Provide a clear conclusion that summarises the main points discussed in the essay and clearly states your position.
task achievement
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to articulate ideas more precisely and avoid repetition of words and phrases.