In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In the contemporary world, thinking

ptern

Correct your spelling

patterns

may vary in different people. In some communities

advice

Replace the word

advise

show examples

to their young generation to, if their

dedicaton

Correct your spelling

dedication

is hard enough, they may able to achieve better success. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

statement has several

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

Change preposition

for

show examples

children.

This

Linking Words

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

discuss what are the strengths and

weeknesses

Correct your spelling

weaknesses

in the mentioned statement in detail. On the one hand, society has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed in the

last

Linking Words

decade.

Therefore

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

substantial dedication is required to accomplish a particular task

due to

Linking Words

the competition.

hence

Linking Words

, parents are always tried to move their children forward with hard

work

Use synonyms

and motivation.

For example

Linking Words

, in Sri Lanka, the education system is very competitive.

Thus

Linking Words

, considerable hard

work

Use synonyms

is required to be a

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

student

Use synonyms

Further

Linking Words

, if some

student

Use synonyms

has a goal to enter

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the medical

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

. the person needs to do a number of hard studies.

Accordingly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard

work

Use synonyms

always

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

Correct article usage

a benifit

show examples

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefits

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

a successful person in society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in the sports field, it is obvious,

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

solid

practiceses

Correct your spelling

practice

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

needed to become a winner in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

particular

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

. Owing to that students

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

often require strong practice every day.

For instance

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Add an article

a student

the student

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

who

are engage

Change the verb form

are engaged

show examples

swimmimg

Correct your spelling

swimming

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

need more than 5 hours

exercise

Change preposition

of exercise

show examples

per day. Unlike

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other sports, swimming is a

tuff

Correct word choice

tough

show examples

sport which involves

Correct article usage

the hole

show examples

hole

Correct your spelling

whole

show examples

body of

Correct article usage

a sportman

show examples

sportman

Correct your spelling

sportsman

sportsmen

. In

this

Linking Words

scenario,

this

Linking Words

type of hard

work

Use synonyms

may

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to physical and

mental

Change the adjective

mentally

show examples

unwell.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

circumstance, hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

does not allow advantage always, it has a negative impact too.

To conclude

Linking Words

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

some

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

considered

Wrong verb form

consider

show examples

hard

work

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

to have

show examples

a dark side, it drives children in many

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

ways. Despite the weakness of hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

. I trust that it provides

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various

improvement

Fix the agreement mistake

improvements

show examples

student

Use synonyms

life. Hard

work

Use synonyms

directed them to

becomea

Correct your spelling

become a

become

hero

Fix the agreement mistake

heroes

show examples

in the world.

shanikamaduri

Nov 23, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure introduction includes a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the advantages and disadvantages of the message given to children.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphing appropriately to separate your ideas, making sure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples and clear explanations. Avoid general statements without clear support.

task achievement

Fully address the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. The essay should balance both sides of the argument to meet the response requirements.

task achievement

Provide a clear conclusion that summarises the main points discussed in the essay and clearly states your position.

task achievement

Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to articulate ideas more precisely and avoid repetition of words and phrases.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Marketing and promotion is key to a successful business. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam” How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

some people believe that technology has made the lives of workers easier while other people disagree. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that economic development is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others argue that economic development is damaging the environment and needs to stop. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.