In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In a lot of countries, rural

people

Use synonyms

are migrating to metropolises, so the number of residents in the

countryside

Use synonyms

is dropping. In my view,

this

Linking Words

should be perceived as a negative trend for two main reasons.

Firstly

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, the increasing number of humans in a city might cause centralism. In fact, centralism affects the huge improvements in public facilities,

such

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as hospitals or healthcare, public transport, educational institutions, and sanitation facilities.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the

infrastructures

Fix the agreement mistake

infrastructure

show examples

in the

countryside

Use synonyms

remain

Correct subject-verb agreement

remains

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constant or slowly

getting developed

Wrong verb form

developing

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Consequently

Linking Words

, there will be a great gap between rural and urban areas time by time.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

gap has the potential to lead to lower productivity of economic activities and higher poverty levels in the backcountry.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it might decline the human resources in rustic areas. If there

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

many rural

people

Use synonyms

moving to towns, there would be

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

workers in the

countryside

Use synonyms

. To illustrate, a home industry like a small-medium enterprise or paddy field would not grow because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

valuable

people

Use synonyms

prefer to choose to be employees in corporations in the big cities.

In addition

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, it is not only about the quality but

quantity

Correct article usage

the quantity

show examples

of the workforce.

As a result

Linking Words

, the rural economy is probably stuck.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the next generation of the society in the

countryside

Use synonyms

tends to move out and

thus

Linking Words

there will be

under population

Correct your spelling

underpopulation

show examples

here

along with

Linking Words

overpopulation there.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the migrating phenomenon from the backcountry to the developed towns not only causes

only-central

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

progress, but

also

Linking Words

affects

rural

Add an article

the rural

show examples

economy, working

people

Use synonyms

, and even poverty grades. I,

therefore

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, remain firmly convinced that the moving trend should be diminished.

hwidyadanaThu Nov 23 2023

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task achievement

The essay has addressed the task but the examples provided are not very effective. Providing detailed, real-world examples could enhance the argument and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

While there is a basic structure to the essay, it could be greatly improved by organizing ideas more logically and clearly. Paragraphs should flow smoothly with appropriate connectors and transitions.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they should be more engaging, concise, and relevant to the prompt. Refining these sections will improve the overall effectiveness of the essay.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phones. Despite this,many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?