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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem that may lead to the extinction of animal life. What are the causes of deforestation and what can be done to reduce its

#rain #forests #extinction #life #deforestation
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Currently, the reduction in the number of animals is an urgent problem. Cutting down the trees of
the
Correct article usage
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rain
Correct your spelling
rainforests
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forests
 is a matter of serious concern which may cause the disappearance of humans and
Correct word choice
other creature
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creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
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. From my point of view, I partly agree with
this
 statement for several reasons.
Firstly
,removing wood from the rain
forests
 can produce
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 climate change.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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This
 ends the life of animals that live in a cold place.
Moreover
,cutting trees without any control and legislation would destroy many
animals'
Change noun form
animals
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 habitats who live in the rain
forests
. Some of these species could only live in these areas,
therefore
, they would be in danger out of these
forests
.
Also
, those kinds which nutrients from these trees
,
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 may starve if they cannot find another source of food.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 creatures
such
 as hedgehogs are found only in
forests
. They don't live outside of them.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are presented. Your essay lacks a definitive ending and could benefit from a more explicit statement summarizing your stance and the points discussed.
Supported Main points
Develop main points with more supporting detail and examples. While you touch on important issues, your arguments require further evidence and specifics to fully demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Logical Structure
Craft a more well-structured essay with clear logical progression between ideas. Transition smoothly between points and ensure that paragraphs are well organized with a single central idea each.
Complete Response
While your response tackles the task to an extent, ensure you reach a thorough answer by delving deeper into the causes and suggesting more varied and in-depth solutions to deforestation.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Expand on your ideas to present a clearer and more comprehensive overview of the topic. Clarify your points and elaborate on how they connect to the broader issue at hand.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate more relevant examples to support your claims, and ensure they specifically relate to the topic. These examples should be illustrative of the broader issue and not merely anecdotal.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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