The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution

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The given chart illustrates Australia's

water

Use synonyms

usage in the year 2014

along with

Linking Words

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

way of

water

Use synonyms

designation in the main

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

, the diagrams demonstrate a few locations consuming a little more than the rest and where

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

one sector has clearly

outweighted

Correct your spelling

outweighed

all the other areas. The graph showcasing the two major cities Perth and Brisbane have the largest usage of

water

Use synonyms

, which is

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

250 and 300

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

respectively.

Whereas

Linking Words

, Adelaide and Sydney

comparitively

Correct your spelling

comparatively

have a moderate usage with approximately 190-225 kiloliters.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Melbourne and

canberra

Change the capitalization

Canberra

show examples

have taken up the least

water

Use synonyms

that year, when

assesed

Correct your spelling

assessed

with the entire graph.

While

Linking Words

observing the diagram, agriculture has distinctly occupied more than half of the chart.

Household

Add an article

The household

A household

show examples

has secured

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second place in

reasource

Correct your spelling

resource

utilization with a percentage of 9.

While

Linking Words

supply, sewage, drainage and, electricity gas supply is 7% each.

Lastly

Linking Words

, mining and other supplies have the lowest utilization.

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

151 words

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in the future all cars will driverless. do advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

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