The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution

The given chart illustrates Australia's

water

usage in the year 2014

along with

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

way of

water

designation in the main

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

show examples

Overall

, the diagrams demonstrate a few locations consuming a little more than the rest and where

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

one sector has clearly

outweighted

Correct your spelling

outweighed

all the other areas. The graph showcasing the two major cities Perth and Brisbane have the largest usage of

water

, which is

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

250 and 300

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

respectively.

Whereas

, Adelaide and Sydney

comparitively

Correct your spelling

comparatively

have a moderate usage with approximately 190-225 kiloliters.

Furthermore

, Melbourne and

canberra

Change the capitalization

Canberra

show examples

have taken up the least

water

that year, when

assesed

Correct your spelling

assessed

with the entire graph.

While

observing the diagram, agriculture has distinctly occupied more than half of the chart.

Household

Add an article

The household

A household

show examples

has secured

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second place in

reasource

Correct your spelling

resource

utilization with a percentage of 9.

While

supply, sewage, drainage and, electricity gas supply is 7% each.

Lastly

, mining and other supplies have the lowest utilization.

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Nov 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians should be responsible for this task. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?
Students study the subjects that the educational system selects for them to study, while some people believe that teachers should be in charge of this. Personally, I think this concept is sound.   First of all, teachers are able to select subjects that are appropriate for each student in their class since they are aware of the students' skills. This is so that teachers, who instruct students nearly every day of the week, may get to know each student's personality and level of learning. As a result, teachers might assign courses in physics and arithmetic to help students strengthen their logical thinking skills or literature and history to help them finish their education. For example, in several developing nations like America or Australia, kids can study the disciplines they are interested in, like science or math, and it can second, a more effective lecture format is possible. If students are made to study subjects they dislike, the class will not be productive since they will qu...
7
band
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the contemporary era, with the development of technology, the question of whether it is necessary to conserve the traditional techniques and ways has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, I firmly agree that preserving traditional culture is pivotal.
6.5
band
easily. In addition, the city is central to the state, trade, education and many sectors of the human being so society tends to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which supports people’s capability at work.
In the past, it was common for people to live and work in the countryside. Nowadays, many people are more likely to stay and get a job in the cities, and as a result, the number of inhabitants in the countryside has decreased considerably. In this essay I will argue that moving from the countryside, on the one hand, is essential for getting a new job and expanding the experiences, on the other hand, it has an impact on the economic downturn in the countryside.
6.5
band
Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?
In The present times, most employers are demanding more hours from employees causing them to feel more stress. we will discuss the possible reasons leading to this, and what kind of solutions we can implement.
6
band
In many countries, people now living longer than before some people say that the aging population creates several problems for the government while others argue that there are benefits if society has more elderly people
While some argue that the increased longevity of people In most countries presents several challenges, others contend that It offers numerous advantages. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians should be responsible for this task. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

easily. In addition, the city is central to the state, trade, education and many sectors of the human being so society tends to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which supports people’s capability at work.

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

In many countries, people now living longer than before some people say that the aging population creates several problems for the government while others argue that there are benefits if society has more elderly people