The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution

The given chart illustrates Australia's

water

usage in the year 2014

along with

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

way of

water

designation in the main

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

show examples

Overall

, the diagrams demonstrate a few locations consuming a little more than the rest and where

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

one sector has clearly

outweighted

Correct your spelling

outweighed

all the other areas. The graph showcasing the two major cities Perth and Brisbane have the largest usage of

water

, which is

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

250 and 300

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

respectively.

Whereas

, Adelaide and Sydney

comparitively

Correct your spelling

comparatively

have a moderate usage with approximately 190-225 kiloliters.

Furthermore

, Melbourne and

canberra

Change the capitalization

Canberra

show examples

have taken up the least

water

that year, when

assesed

Correct your spelling

assessed

with the entire graph.

While

observing the diagram, agriculture has distinctly occupied more than half of the chart.

Household

Add an article

The household

A household

show examples

has secured

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second place in

reasource

Correct your spelling

resource

utilization with a percentage of 9.

While

supply, sewage, drainage and, electricity gas supply is 7% each.

Lastly

, mining and other supplies have the lowest utilization.

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

Many people find it difficult to speak in front of and to present to anaudience. It is believed that this skill should be taught in school. Why is this important? To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

School uniforms have always been a subject of heated debates.

Many people around the world using social media evereyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

These days Internet –based courses have become a popular alternative to University – based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people say that the only reason for learning foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.