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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Freedom of speech is vital in free society. Do you agree or disagree?

#freedom #speech #society
The possibility of uncontrolled public
speech
 has been disputed by many people.
Moreover
, individuals consider if the government should interfere with what
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
show examples
 in front of the public. In my opinion, it is fundamental for an independent society to express concerning consequences. Governments should not suppress freedom of
speech
 among their folk. Foremost, Free
speech
 is the demonstration of human rights and the demand for social development.
This
 ability consents to engage in epoch-making deliberations and make commonsensical judgments,
as well as
 question oppressive structures
while
 holding those in positions of authority responsible.
For instance
, there are a number of countries where citizens bear the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to contribute opinions to erect the constitution or hoist objections about unsatisfactory policies that do not bring avails to the people. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 hand, freedom of
speech
 performs a vital role in society.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the particular reason for
circumstance
Correct article usage
the circumstance
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mentally ill people who make
such
 impeccable
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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,
on the contrary
, the cause of prohibition.
For example
, feminists
demanding
Wrong verb form
demand
show examples
 equality despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that they are unable to handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male labour. Half-witted commotions and revolts that
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
show examples
 everything has been stated so far into incoherent
allegation
Fix the agreement mistake
allegations
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.
Last
 but not least, for me exact purpose of the significance of free
speech
 actively demonstrates that major and cherished traits of
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 society cannot be underestimated. It may be hamper for the public to authorise distinctions of judgement out into the open.
However
, the outcome of restricting free
speech
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 doubtlessly to be more deface in the
extensive term
Add a hyphen
extensive-term
show examples
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, making it difficult to follow. To improve this, ensure that each paragraph presents a single idea, supported by relevant examples or arguments. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader on what to expect. Cohere your ideas by using logical connectors and transitional phrases to show the relationship between paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
While you have attempted to address the topic, your response does not fully develop your ideas. To better achieve the task, expand on your arguments by offering more details, explanations, and relevant examples that directly relate to the prompt. Ensure that your essay directly answers the given question throughout, with a clear position that is maintained from introduction to conclusion. Also, be cautious of making overly general statements without backing them up with specific points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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