Some people think that an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, air pollution has become a great concern as it is increasing global warming . A few masses suggest that a care-free day should be kept on a global level to decrease air damage,

while

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others believe that there are some better alternative measures available to tackle

this

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issue. In

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essay, I will discuss both views in detail and provide supporting examples to prove the latter statement takes precedence.

To begin

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with, it is obvious that on an international car-free day, the citizens will not take their personal cars out on the roads, which automatically will result in fewer numbers of vehicles in the city. And the lesser the card on the road lesser the emission of toxic gases into the environment.

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this

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idea is illogical because it will create difficulties for people in an emergency to go out in their cars.

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, the public transportations may get overcrowded

as a consequence

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this

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approach.

On the other hand

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, there are some more effective solutions to

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phenomenon

such

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as carpooling.

In other words

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, a group of 4-5 people who have a similar destination can travel together in a single vehicle.

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way, air pollution can be limited to some extent.

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, another important step that can be taken by the ministry is to put some restrictions on the industries that discharge harmful gases into nature.

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, authorities can charge fines to those factories that release

the

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apply

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carbon dioxide more than the normal limit.

According to

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me, the idea of the international no-car day is absurd and there are plenty of other solutions to save

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the

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atmosphere quality. These include the car-sharing trend and strict regulations by the government.

Submitted by jeelthakkar9 on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Introduction

Ensure that your introduction sets the context of the topic effectively and clearly outlines your scope for discussion. In this essay, the introduction was unclear, lacking a definitive stance or overview of the points to be discussed, which is essential for a strong introduction.

Logical Structure

Work on the logical flow of your essay by improving transitions between ideas. Ideas should effectively link together so that the reader can easily follow your argument. This essay showed some attempt at cohesion, but ideas appeared disjointed at times.

Supported Main Points

Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to establish the main point, followed by supporting ideas and relevant examples. While there were some examples provided, the support for the main points could be further developed for a more convincing argument.

Complete Response

Address the task directly, making sure to discuss both views presented in the prompt as well as your own opinion. The essay should cover all parts of the task with a balance between both views and a clear personal stance, with this essay showing attempts but lacking in balanced coverage and clear expression of personal opinion.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Develop comprehensive ideas by exploring the context and depth of the topic. Your essay should reflect a clear understanding and should be elaborated with enough detail to show that complexity has been considered. Your ideas were on the right track but could have been explained more thoroughly.

Relevant Specific Examples

Always aim to include specific examples that are directly relevant to the main ideas and demonstrate a real-world application of the concepts being discussed. While your essay had some examples, including more detailed and direct examples could make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainability
emissions standards
renewable energy
environmentally friendly
public transportation
pedestrian zones
commuter behavior
awareness
incentives
air pollution

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Some people think that an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or military. Others think women are less suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than Roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that animals are a necessary part of the diet. What is your opinion?