Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

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There is a firm belief in some countries which insists on

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

correlation of hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

and accomplishment.

Although

Linking Words

there are numerous benefits involved in

this

Linking Words

opinion, the drawbacks are by no means imperceptible. On the plus side, the advantages of advising pupils to work hard are countless. The most important aspect of success is assiduous and it is stuck in our mind that “no pain, no gain”. In fact, the first step to

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

our aims is day and night efforts. Under no circumstances, are they youngsters be motivated without encouraging them to achieve their goals.

For instance

Linking Words

, when I was studying for a landmark exam, my mentor forced me to spare no effort and in my point of view, without well-organized attempts, I could not be successful.

Furthermore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

usually have a lot of dreams since they are at the beginning of their lives and they think everything is possible. When adults encourage them to pursue their passions and believe in them, it pushes them to become the best version of themselves

through

Change preposition

show examples

staying positive. On the negative side, teenagers who believe

this

Linking Words

idea may encounter some problems.

Firstly

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

believing everything is possible, they may set unrealistic goals for themselves and think they can achieve them.

For example

Linking Words

, they may think they can become millionaires at the age of fifteen and when they reach that age, they become frustrated that they did not

reached

Change the verb form

reach

show examples

what they wanted.

Secondly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

may push themselves to their limits and work too hard which affects them negatively.

This

Linking Words

can be exemplified by

children

Use synonyms

who study all the time because they want to be top students and suffer from mental health issues

such

Linking Words

as depression, anxiety, and isolation.

To conclude

Linking Words

nevertheless

Linking Words

, it is beneficial to tell

children

Use synonyms

that working hard towards a goal always yields positive results, it can cause them issues

such

Linking Words

as frustration and burnout.

farzin_seyednejadThu Nov 23 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion. Make sure to introduce the topic and summarize your main points, as well as providing a restatement of your thesis at the end for a more impactful conclusion.

relevant specific examples

Support your ideas with more relevant examples and evidence for a stronger argument. This will help you score higher on task achievement and make your essay more convincing.

logical structure

The coherence and cohesion can be improved by better structuring of paragraphs and more fluid transitions between ideas. Use cohesive devices effectively to link points across the essay.

complete response

For task achievement, ensure that the response is complete by addressing all parts of the prompt. Expand on your ideas to fully cover the discussion points outlined in the topic and provide a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

Your opinion

Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative impact on the environment ,eating habits and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

he most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures the old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many young people today leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages on working abroad and give your own opinion.