some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

#people #beleive #home #work #place

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Closure of the

Use synonyms

work

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

place

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and

home

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can influence

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apply

show examples

people

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. Some

people

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believe that it is vital to organize your

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work

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

place

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and

home

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Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of companies have a rule that

ones

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one

show examples

should keep their office clean.

This

Linking Words

regulation shows the importance of working in a tidy

place

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. Working in

clean

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a clean

show examples

place

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is much

more easy

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easier

show examples

than

an untidy ones

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untidy ones

an untidy one

show examples

because it gives

people

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good

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a good

show examples

feeling.

Moreover

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, finding objects and

stuffs

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stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

are

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show examples

much more

convinient

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convenient

so everyone can

work

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without

stress

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the stress

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of losing

thigs

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things

show examples

. The office it selves displays

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the

show examples

quality of

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the

show examples

person who

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work

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works

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there and

convey

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conveys

show examples

the

massage

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message

show examples

disipline

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discipline

clientels

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clients

clienteles

Furthermore

Linking Words

clientels

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clients

are more

confortable

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comfortable

in these places and can feel more secure. Organizing

house

Correct article usage

the house

show examples

is more responsibility of women than men. Living in a tidy

place

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spread

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spreads

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positives

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positive

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feelings

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show examples

the area. These good feeling make

member

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a member

the member

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of a family calm and gives them space to unwind.

Home

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is a

place

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relaxe

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relax

and refresh your mind so you need to keep it tidy in order not to get distracted by things that are in

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the

show examples

wrong

place

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Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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it is important to show other

people

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that you are able to keep your

home

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tidy especially when

ones

Correct pronoun usage

you

show examples

invite someone

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into

show examples

their house. In conclusion,

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apply

show examples

keeping

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work

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

place

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can be more efficient and keeping things organized

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show examples

home

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can show

people

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your

characterstics

Correct your spelling

characteristics

and

also

Linking Words

gives

Correct subject-verb agreement

give

show examples

you more comfortable moments to unwind.

Submitted by looordomid on Thu Nov 23 2023

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task achievement

Your essay begins with a somewhat generic opening statement rather than a clear introduction of your viewpoint on the importance of cleanliness and organization. Consider using a more direct approach that firmly establishes your position on the topic.

coherence cohesion

While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, they are not fully effective in framing the essay or summarizing your argument. An effective introduction should clearly state your thesis, and your conclusion should reiterate your main points and thesis, giving a sense of completion to your argument.

task achievement

You have mentioned general reasons why keeping a workplace clean is beneficial, and have touched upon gender roles in the context of home organization. However, you could enhance your main points by including detailed examples or evidence to support your claims, increasing the persuasiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains several grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing that can disrupt the reader's understanding. Strive to use clear and correct language to convey your message. Proofreading can help in identifying and correcting these issues.

coherence cohesion

You would benefit from developing more logical transitions between ideas; this would improve the flow of the essay and help to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

240 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
efficiency
mental well-being
professionalism
attention to detail
work-life balance
innovation
creativity
mental clutter
order and control
infrastructure
ergonomics

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some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many students choose to study at college and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?