some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

#people #beleive #home #work #place

Closure of the

work

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workplace

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place

and

home

can influence

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apply

show examples

people

. Some

people

believe that it is vital to organize your

work

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workplace

show examples

place

and

home

Majority

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The majority

show examples

of companies have a rule that

ones

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one

show examples

should keep their office clean.

This

regulation shows the importance of working in a tidy

place

. Working in

clean

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a clean

show examples

place

is much

more easy

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easier

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than

an untidy ones

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untidy ones

an untidy one

show examples

because it gives

people

good

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a good

show examples

feeling.

Moreover

, finding objects and

stuffs

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stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

are

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show examples

much more

convinient

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convenient

so everyone can

work

without

stress

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the stress

show examples

of losing

thigs

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

. The office it selves displays

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the

show examples

quality of

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the

show examples

person who

work

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works

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there and

convey

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conveys

show examples

the

massage

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message

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disipline

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discipline

clientels

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clients

clienteles

Furthermore

clientels

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clients

are more

confortable

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comfortable

in these places and can feel more secure. Organizing

house

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the house

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is more responsibility of women than men. Living in a tidy

place

spread

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spreads

show examples

positives

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positive

show examples

feelings

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show examples

the area. These good feeling make

member

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a member

the member

show examples

of a family calm and gives them space to unwind.

Home

is a

place

relaxe

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relax

and refresh your mind so you need to keep it tidy in order not to get distracted by things that are in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong

place

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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it is important to show other

people

that you are able to keep your

home

tidy especially when

ones

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you

show examples

invite someone

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into

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their house. In conclusion,

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apply

show examples

keeping

work

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the

show examples

place

can be more efficient and keeping things organized

Change preposition

show examples

home

can show

people

your

characterstics

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characteristics

and

also

gives

Correct subject-verb agreement

give

show examples

you more comfortable moments to unwind.

Submitted by looordomid on Thu Nov 23 2023

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task achievement

Your essay begins with a somewhat generic opening statement rather than a clear introduction of your viewpoint on the importance of cleanliness and organization. Consider using a more direct approach that firmly establishes your position on the topic.

coherence cohesion

While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, they are not fully effective in framing the essay or summarizing your argument. An effective introduction should clearly state your thesis, and your conclusion should reiterate your main points and thesis, giving a sense of completion to your argument.

task achievement

You have mentioned general reasons why keeping a workplace clean is beneficial, and have touched upon gender roles in the context of home organization. However, you could enhance your main points by including detailed examples or evidence to support your claims, increasing the persuasiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains several grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing that can disrupt the reader's understanding. Strive to use clear and correct language to convey your message. Proofreading can help in identifying and correcting these issues.

coherence cohesion

You would benefit from developing more logical transitions between ideas; this would improve the flow of the essay and help to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
efficiency
mental well-being
professionalism
attention to detail
work-life balance
innovation
creativity
mental clutter
order and control
infrastructure
ergonomics

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some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, more and more people are purchasing online instead of physically going to stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries more and more young people are leaving schools but unable to find a job. What problem do you think youth unemployment causes for individuals and for societies? What measures should be taken to reduce level of unemployment for youngsters.

Writing Task 2: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?