some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.
Closure of the
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
and home
can influence on
Change preposition
apply
people
. Some people
believe that it is vital to organize your work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
and home
.
Majority
of companies have a rule that Correct article usage
The majority
ones
should keep their office clean. Replace the word
one
This
regulation shows the importance of working in a tidy place
. Working in clean
Add an article
a clean
place
is much more easy
than Replace the words
easier
an untidy ones
because it gives Correct the article-noun agreement
untidy ones
an untidy one
people
good
feeling. Add an article
a good
Moreover
, finding objects and stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
are
much more Correct subject-verb agreement
is
convinient
so everyone can Correct your spelling
convenient
work
without stress
of losing Add an article
the stress
thigs
. The office it selves displays Correct your spelling
things
an
quality of Correct article usage
the
a
person who Correct article usage
the
work
there and Change the verb form
works
convey
the Change the verb form
conveys
massage
of Correct your spelling
message
disipline
to Correct your spelling
discipline
clientels
. Correct your spelling
clients
clienteles
Furthermore
, clientels
are more Correct your spelling
clients
confortable
in these places and can feel more secure.
Organizing Correct your spelling
comfortable
house
is more responsibility of women than men. Living in a tidy Correct article usage
the house
place
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
positives
feelings Change the noun form
positive
on
the area. These good feeling make Change preposition
in
member
of a family calm and gives them space to unwind. Add an article
a member
the member
Home
is a place
to relaxe
and refresh your mind so you need to keep it tidy in order not to get distracted by things that are in Correct your spelling
relax
a
wrong Correct article usage
the
place
. Also
it is important to show other Add a comma
Also,
people
that you are able to keep your home
tidy especially when ones
invite someone Correct pronoun usage
you
in
their house.
In conclusion, Change preposition
into
By
keeping Change preposition
apply
work
Correct your spelling
the
place
can be more efficient and keeping things organized in
Change preposition
at
home
can show people
your characterstics
and Correct your spelling
characteristics
also
gives
you more comfortable moments to unwind.Correct subject-verb agreement
give
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task achievement
Your essay begins with a somewhat generic opening statement rather than a clear introduction of your viewpoint on the importance of cleanliness and organization. Consider using a more direct approach that firmly establishes your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, they are not fully effective in framing the essay or summarizing your argument. An effective introduction should clearly state your thesis, and your conclusion should reiterate your main points and thesis, giving a sense of completion to your argument.
task achievement
You have mentioned general reasons why keeping a workplace clean is beneficial, and have touched upon gender roles in the context of home organization. However, you could enhance your main points by including detailed examples or evidence to support your claims, increasing the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains several grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing that can disrupt the reader's understanding. Strive to use clear and correct language to convey your message. Proofreading can help in identifying and correcting these issues.
coherence cohesion
You would benefit from developing more logical transitions between ideas; this would improve the flow of the essay and help to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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