In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first year after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's era, working women are increasing more and more in order to help their husbands with life expenses. Recently, most sectors nowadays offer

to deliver

Verb problem

apply

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mothers a maternity leave which lasts up to a year. In

this

essay, I am going to shed some light on the advantages and disadvantages of giving maternity leave for a year.

To begin

with, the advantage of having a maternal leave as a working mother is taking good care of the baby. Newborns always need some sort of long-term care to grow up in a healthy pattern.

In addition

to that, mothers

also

need some kind of long-term rest, because giving birth is a strenuous biological procedure and needs some time to recover.

Also

, mothers need some type of financial support to help themselves and their

baby

Fix the agreement mistake

babies

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on the other hand

, some

companies

do not employ young women, and that's

due to

the fact that

such

companies

look at these employees as a burden if they get pregnant and are ready to deliver.

For instance

, there is a recent study that was done by Harvard University stating that

companies

spend about 6 billion dollars on maternity leave that lasts about a year, and many

companies

see

this

as a financial loss.

On the contrary

, these employers can make working from home possible for these women.

This

can increase the productivity of the organization, and cut transportation costs. In conclusion, there is a number of advantages of having maternal leave which

includes

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

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, taking care of the baby and the woman, and helping the mother to recover. Other disadvantages include

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high expenses to the company with no productivity.

Submitted by osama2010b on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Task Achievement

For Task Achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Your essay mentioned some advantages and disadvantages, but did not explicitly address whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Expand the comparison to directly respond to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, structure your essay in a clear, logical manner. Use appropriate paragraphing and linking words to better connect your ideas. Some points were mentioned abruptly without fully explaining how they relate to the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

273 words

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In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first year after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Write about the following topic Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

Some people think that, to learn about other countries, traveling abroad is necessary while others think that is not necessary because TV and the internet can give the same information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?