Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?
Nowadays, it is
being
popular among Unnecessary verb
apply
people
to change professions during their careers. One of the reasons may be related to fact
that some jobs cannot satisfy Add an article
the fact
people
morally and financially or people
cannot be successful in a sector and try to find other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
which
can be easier to build a happy futureChange preposition
in which
in
. Change preposition
apply
However
, negative
effects of altering careers for individuals and Correct article usage
the negative
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
society
must be considered.
Firstly
, in some cases, people
change their careers because they cannot be happy in their previous jobs. Source
of Correct article usage
The source
this
dissatisfaction can be spiritual, or just financial reasons can result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
this
problem. People
cannot make enough money, professions do not match with their interests and they do not want to work
in these fields for the rest of their lives. On another hand, some people
do not achieve success in one job and give up to continue
in Change preposition
on continuing
this
field, they choose to test themselves in other areas with the hope of easy promotion. To give an instance, in Azerbaijan
many students begin to Add a comma
Azerbaijan,
work
in completely different areas after they work
1-2 years in their original professions which they study in university.
On the other hand
, this
process has serious drawbacks for the persons and the society
. Individually, shifting from one career path to another is hard
, harmful and unsuccessful option. Every time, Add an article
a hard
people
must start from zero and repeat the same acts to build a career. It is waste
of time in life and Correct article usage
a waste
people
cannot develop more because they lose the progress theymade
in the past. From Correct your spelling
they made
society
’s side, negative effects can be that different persons
do not excel in a Replace the word
people
spesific
sector and the number of experienced, professional employees goes down in every crucial field. It Correct your spelling
specific
is leading
to other sociological issues and Wrong verb form
leads
damage
the development of a country. Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
For example
, in some developing countries, teachers work
in other jobsbesides
teaching to make more money and it affects the education of students and the future of Correct your spelling
jobs besides
job besides
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
society
.
In conclusion, desire
to earn more money and to find jobs which Correct article usage
the desire
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
people
’s spiritual needs leads to unpleasant results for both society
and individual
parts of it.Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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Task Achievement
To improve upon Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas throughout. Your essay should contain a balanced discussion of both reasons for career changes and its impacts. You correctly identified several reasons, but the development of these ideas was somewhat limited. To score higher, expand on these points with additional detail and consider a wider range of factors. Provide relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points and further demonstrate understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, strive to organize your essay in a logical manner. Each paragraph should present one clear main idea, supported by relevant information. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your argument effectively. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph linking seamlessly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of coherent paragraphing and cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing words.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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