Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

#people #change #careers #life #development #society

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Nowadays, it is

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

popular among

people

to change professions during their careers. One of the reasons may be related to

fact

Add an article

the fact

show examples

that some jobs cannot satisfy

people

morally and financially or

people

cannot be successful in a sector and try to find

other area

Change the wording

another area

other areas

show examples

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

can be easier to build a happy future

Change preposition

apply

show examples

However

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

effects of altering careers for individuals and

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

society

must be considered.

Firstly

, in some cases,

people

change their careers because they cannot be happy in their previous jobs.

Source

Correct article usage

The source

show examples

this

dissatisfaction can be spiritual, or just financial reasons can

result

Add the preposition

result in

result from

show examples

this

problem.

People

cannot make enough money, professions do not match with their interests and they do not want to

work

in these fields for the rest of their lives. On another hand, some

people

do not achieve success in one job and give up

to continue

Change preposition

on continuing

show examples

this

field, they choose to test themselves in other areas with the hope of easy promotion. To give an instance, in

Azerbaijan

Add a comma

Azerbaijan,

show examples

many students begin to

work

in completely different areas after they

work

1-2 years in their original professions which they study in university.

On the other hand

this

process has serious drawbacks for the persons and the

society

. Individually, shifting from one career path to another is

hard

Add an article

a hard

show examples

, harmful and unsuccessful option. Every time,

people

must start from zero and repeat the same acts to build a career. It is

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of time in life and

people

cannot develop more because they lose the progress

theymade

Correct your spelling

they made

in the past. From

society

’s side, negative effects can be that different

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

do not excel in a

spesific

Correct your spelling

specific

sector and the number of experienced, professional employees goes down in every crucial field. It

is leading

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

to other sociological issues and

damage

Correct subject-verb agreement

damages

show examples

the development of a country.

For example

, in some developing countries, teachers

work

in other

jobsbesides

Correct your spelling

jobs besides

job besides

teaching to make more money and it affects the education of students and the future of

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

society

. In conclusion,

desire

Correct article usage

the desire

show examples

to earn more money and to find jobs which

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

people

’s spiritual needs leads to unpleasant results for both

society

and

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

parts of it.

Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Task Achievement

To improve upon Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas throughout. Your essay should contain a balanced discussion of both reasons for career changes and its impacts. You correctly identified several reasons, but the development of these ideas was somewhat limited. To score higher, expand on these points with additional detail and consider a wider range of factors. Provide relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points and further demonstrate understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, strive to organize your essay in a logical manner. Each paragraph should present one clear main idea, supported by relevant information. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your argument effectively. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph linking seamlessly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of coherent paragraphing and cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing words.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

Your opinion

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep course? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people think that the internet is shrinking the world with their benefits.Other argue that it has a adverse effect on civilizations due to poor famiy relationships Discuss both views

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and your opinion.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

some people think that to be successful , you need to get in a university degree. where as others say it is not true. discuss both ideas and give your opinion ?