Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

Nowadays, it is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
popular among
people
to change professions during their careers. One of the reasons may be related to
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that some jobs cannot satisfy
people
morally and financially or
people
cannot be successful in a sector and try to find
other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
can be easier to build a happy future
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
However
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
effects of altering careers for individuals and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
society
must be considered.
Firstly
, in some cases,
people
change their careers because they cannot be happy in their previous jobs.
Source
Correct article usage
The source
show examples
of
this
dissatisfaction can be spiritual, or just financial reasons can
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
this
problem.
People
cannot make enough money, professions do not match with their interests and they do not want to
work
in these fields for the rest of their lives. On another hand, some
people
do not achieve success in one job and give up
to continue
Change preposition
on continuing
show examples
in
this
field, they choose to test themselves in other areas with the hope of easy promotion. To give an instance, in
Azerbaijan
Add a comma
Azerbaijan,
show examples
many students begin to
work
in completely different areas after they
work
1-2 years in their original professions which they study in university.
On the other hand
,
this
process has serious drawbacks for the persons and the
society
. Individually, shifting from one career path to another is
hard
Add an article
a hard
show examples
, harmful and unsuccessful option. Every time,
people
must start from zero and repeat the same acts to build a career. It is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time in life and
people
cannot develop more because they lose the progress
theymade
Correct your spelling
they made
in the past. From
society
’s side, negative effects can be that different
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
do not excel in a
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
sector and the number of experienced, professional employees goes down in every crucial field. It
is leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to other sociological issues and
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
the development of a country.
For example
, in some developing countries, teachers
work
in other
jobsbesides
Correct your spelling
jobs besides
job besides
teaching to make more money and it affects the education of students and the future of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
society
. In conclusion,
desire
Correct article usage
the desire
show examples
to earn more money and to find jobs which
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
people
’s spiritual needs leads to unpleasant results for both
society
and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
parts of it.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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Task Achievement
To improve upon Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas throughout. Your essay should contain a balanced discussion of both reasons for career changes and its impacts. You correctly identified several reasons, but the development of these ideas was somewhat limited. To score higher, expand on these points with additional detail and consider a wider range of factors. Provide relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points and further demonstrate understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, strive to organize your essay in a logical manner. Each paragraph should present one clear main idea, supported by relevant information. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your argument effectively. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph linking seamlessly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of coherent paragraphing and cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing words.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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