Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

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Nowadays, it is

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

popular among

people

Use synonyms

to change professions during their careers. One of the reasons may be related to

fact

Add an article

the fact

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that some jobs cannot satisfy

people

Use synonyms

morally and financially or

people

Use synonyms

cannot be successful in a sector and try to find

other area

Change the wording

another area

other areas

show examples

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

can be easier to build a happy future

Change preposition

apply

show examples

However

Linking Words

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

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effects of altering careers for individuals and

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

society

Use synonyms

must be considered.

Firstly

Linking Words

, in some cases,

people

Use synonyms

change their careers because they cannot be happy in their previous jobs.

Source

Correct article usage

The source

show examples

this

Linking Words

dissatisfaction can be spiritual, or just financial reasons can

result

Add the preposition

result in

result from

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem.

People

Use synonyms

cannot make enough money, professions do not match with their interests and they do not want to

work

Use synonyms

in these fields for the rest of their lives. On another hand, some

people

Use synonyms

do not achieve success in one job and give up

to continue

Change preposition

on continuing

show examples

this

Linking Words

field, they choose to test themselves in other areas with the hope of easy promotion. To give an instance, in

Azerbaijan

Add a comma

Azerbaijan,

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many students begin to

work

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in completely different areas after they

work

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1-2 years in their original professions which they study in university.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

process has serious drawbacks for the persons and the

society

Use synonyms

. Individually, shifting from one career path to another is

hard

Add an article

a hard

show examples

, harmful and unsuccessful option. Every time,

people

Use synonyms

must start from zero and repeat the same acts to build a career. It is

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of time in life and

people

Use synonyms

cannot develop more because they lose the progress

theymade

Correct your spelling

they made

in the past. From

society

Use synonyms

’s side, negative effects can be that different

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

do not excel in a

spesific

Correct your spelling

specific

sector and the number of experienced, professional employees goes down in every crucial field. It

is leading

Wrong verb form

leads

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to other sociological issues and

damage

Correct subject-verb agreement

damages

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the development of a country.

For example

Linking Words

, in some developing countries, teachers

work

Use synonyms

in other

jobsbesides

Correct your spelling

jobs besides

job besides

teaching to make more money and it affects the education of students and the future of

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

society

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

desire

Correct article usage

the desire

show examples

to earn more money and to find jobs which

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

people

Use synonyms

’s spiritual needs leads to unpleasant results for both

society

Use synonyms

and

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

parts of it.

babayeva.ilaydaThu Nov 23 2023

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Task Achievement

To improve upon Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas throughout. Your essay should contain a balanced discussion of both reasons for career changes and its impacts. You correctly identified several reasons, but the development of these ideas was somewhat limited. To score higher, expand on these points with additional detail and consider a wider range of factors. Provide relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points and further demonstrate understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, strive to organize your essay in a logical manner. Each paragraph should present one clear main idea, supported by relevant information. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your argument effectively. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph linking seamlessly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of coherent paragraphing and cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing words.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

Your opinion

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. What is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that there are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children should be allowed to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food or clothes. Other people, however, believe that children should not learn to make decisions since they are young.

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?