Some people today prefevisit a doctor. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?r to get advice for medical problems and do not want to

#people #prefevisit #doctor #development #r #advice

Our current world is becoming more advanced than in earlier days and

this

is reflected in many sectors including healthcare. Unlike previous days we don't need to worry about medical

attention

and it's readily available to

people

Therefore

people

seek medical

attention

even for minor

issues

. But

this

can be either good or bad because, sometimes some

issues

don't need immediate

attention

and it can be cured by a simple solution at

home

However

, the reason most

people

seek hospital when it can cure on their own is because they worry about unnecessary things

such

as, it could be

a deadly

Correct the article-noun agreement

a deadly issue

deadly issues

show examples

issues

or will cause future health

issues

. The main reason for

this

kind of thought is nowadays, we know lots of things about diseases and their symptoms and

this

makes us even more anxious than the actual problems.

These information

Change the determiner

This information

show examples

are readily available on the internet and it makes

people

confused and unwanted

attention

for

Change preposition

show examples

even small problem.

On the other hand

, the new generation

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

much

Rephrase

very

show examples

fond of our old way treatments

such

home

remedies

and they only believe in new medicines

thus

instead

of taking basic

remedies

home

they are going to doctors for advice.

However

, doctors

also

suggest some

home

remedies

and

nutrition

Replace the word

nutritious

show examples

food rather than pills. In conclusion,

people

tend to seek medical advice for everything because they have too much information about sickness and

that is

the reason for their behaviour. They can follow some available

remedies

but they accept them only after doctors approve.

Submitted by n_wara11 on Thu Nov 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a basic structure, yet it can be significantly improved by developing a more coherent introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the introduction clearly states the topics being discussed, and that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points made throughout the essay. Moreover, consider transitioning between paragraphs more smoothly to enhance readability and cohesion.

task achievement

While the essay addresses the topic, it fails to fully develop a clear argument or rationale for the behaviors mentioned. For a higher score, expand on the reasons why people prefer to seek medical advice, providing more depth and specific examples to support each point. Additionally, try to offer a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative developments related to this trend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people today prefevisit a doctor. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?r to get advice for medical problems and do not want to

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that if the police force carries guns, it will encourage higher levels of violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

-A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in vacant areas of cities and towns, while others say housing facilities should be made instead. -Do you agree or disagree?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?