The charts below show the average temperatures in 12 months in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.

The charts below show the average temperatures in 12 months in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.
The line graph provides information on
a twelve-month mean temperatures
Correct the article-noun agreement
twelve-month mean temperatures
a twelve-month mean temperature
show examples
in London, New
York
, and
Sydney
,
while
the table shows the annual hours of daylight in the same three cities.
Overall
, London and New
York
had similar increasing trends until July and
subsequently
dropped afterwards,
while
Sydney
recorded the opposite trend of declining
on
Change preposition
in
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the first seven months before climbing up until the end of the year.
Firstly
, the starting point of average temperatures in
Sydney
was the highest among other towns at barely above 25,
while
the European city in comparison was below 10 and the United States' capital city was under 5. The mean measurements in the first town mentioned kept falling to 15
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
July.
In contrast
, London and New
York
was
Change the verb form
were
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gradually rising
on
Change preposition
in
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the first semester until almost reaching 25 and 30 for both cities respectively. As
Sydney
's statistic climbed back to 25
at the end
of the year, the two other cities dropped to their initial points. Moving on to the total duration of sunshine in a year, New
York
had the highest figure at 2.535
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
Sydney
with a mere 62.
Lastly
, the place with the least sunshine was the
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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United
Kingdoms'
Correct your spelling
Kingdom's
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capital city with only approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of
Sydney
's number.
Submitted by dandelionandburdock on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words york, sydney with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

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