The charts below show the average temperatures in 12 months in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.
The line graph provides information on
a twelve-month mean temperatures
in London, New Correct the article-noun agreement
twelve-month mean temperatures
a twelve-month mean temperature
York
, and Sydney
, while
the table shows the annual hours of daylight in the same three cities. Overall
, London and New York
had similar increasing trends until July and subsequently
dropped afterwards, while
Sydney
recorded the opposite trend of declining on
the first seven months before climbing up until the end of the year.
Change preposition
in
Firstly
, the starting point of average temperatures in Sydney
was the highest among other towns at barely above 25, while
the European city in comparison was below 10 and the United States' capital city was under 5. The mean measurements in the first town mentioned kept falling to 15 on
July. Change preposition
in
In contrast
, London and New York
was
gradually rising Change the verb form
were
on
the first semester until almost reaching 25 and 30 for both cities respectively. As Change preposition
in
Sydney
's statistic climbed back to 25 at the end
of the year, the two other cities dropped to their initial points.
Moving on to the total duration of sunshine in a year, New York
had the highest figure at 2.535 and
followed by Correct word choice
apply
Sydney
with a mere 62. Lastly
, the place with the least sunshine was the in
Change preposition
apply
the
United Correct article usage
apply
Kingdoms'
capital city with only approximately Correct your spelling
Kingdom's
a
half of Correct article usage
apply
Sydney
's number.Submitted by dandelionandburdock on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words york, sydney with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!