It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

There are split opinions regarding the population in many
countries
. Many people believe that some
countries
will have more older pupils than younger ones,
whereas
other groups of thinkers support in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
reverse manner.
However
, both have their own pros and cons.
Therefore
, before commenting on my decision, both sides will be discussed. Examining the former opinion, the primary argument the supporter would put forward is less population.
This
is because they think most
countries
such
as India, and China are already dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the population and
this
can only help to reduce it.
In addition
,
this
will lead to solving all other problems
such
as unemployment and air quality in cities.
On the contrary
, the second view suggests that it will be a disaster for the country if there are fewer people to earn or work in future rather than unemployed or retired because it will make
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
of the nation weak. To add to
this
, the government of any nation will have to look at others to fulfil its economic needs.
Thus
,
to conclude
and vocal my opinion, it will be
finally
said that despite the issue of unemployment , I think having less amount of younger people will be negative for many
countries
. In the big picture, it would have an impact on the economy.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, consider organizing your ideas more clearly by providing distinct and well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and follow a logical sequence. Aim for a more fluid transition between points to strengthen the reader's ability to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly outlines the points you will discuss and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and clearly states your position. This will help to provide the necessary framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant examples and details. Aim to develop your arguments fully, providing specific evidence and elaborating on your ideas to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt, including the question of whether it is a positive or negative development. Clearly state your opinion and provide a balanced discussion with supporting evidence.
task achievement
Strive to articulate your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid overly complex or confusing sentence structures, and make sure each idea builds on the last coherently.
task achievement
Include specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. These should illustrate your points clearly and strengthen the position you take within your essay. Avoid general or vague statements that do not directly support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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