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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.
#information #healthcare #resources #life #expectancy #countries
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The bar chart depicts the number of places in hospitals in 8 countries and the table shows
expenses
Correct article usage
the expenses
show examples
 of Japan, the
Netherlands
 and the US in the health sector and the average expectations of life.
According to
 the bar chart, coating takes a leading position in
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of hospital beds with 14 places per thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people. Equating to 8 cot, Germany takes the second position, forming a significant gap with six other countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 number of hospital places varies from 3 to 5 per thousand of population. Probing
further
 to the table, it becomes obvious that US health
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 nearly twice as much as
Netherlands
 expenses with 6,719$ and 3,481$ respectively. Despite the fact that only 2,581$ are directed into medicine which is the smallest sum of money among the three countries, the life expectancy of the Japanese reaches 83 years which overtakes both the
Netherlands
 and the US where
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 lifespan does not exceed 80 and 78 years.
Overall
, Japan with the smallest financial resources that are spent on one person provides more hospital beds and shows remarkably better average life expectancy than
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. As opposed to Japan,
spendings
Correct your spelling
spending
show examples
 in the US is far more,
however
, it does not positively affect the number of years that people live and the quality of hospital beds positively.
Submitted by dostoesckaya.annushka on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words netherlands with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • healthcare resources
  • life expectancy
  • per capita
  • modern medical equipment
  • correlate
  • accessibility
  • average lifespan
  • healthcare policies
  • government healthcare spending
  • disparities
  • developed countries
  • developing countries
  • global health inequalities
  • technological advancements
  • telemedicine
  • AI diagnostics
  • health outcomes
  • public health initiatives
  • vaccination programs
  • preventive healthcare
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