Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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One of the discussed
issues
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nowadays is people's health. Some believe that it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be better if governments required more
sports
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facilities
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. Meanwhile, some do not think it is enough to solve
this
Linking Words
problem by buildings.
This
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essay will analyse both views and express my opinion. On the one hand, to keep fit and be healthier individuals need to do
sports
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. In that case,
sports
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facilities
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are the best option. Mostly who have
weak
Add an article
a weak
show examples
body
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, they are hardly treated by illnesses.
Fix the agreement mistake
Exercise
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Exercises
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Exercise
show examples
will
do
Verb problem
make
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your
body
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and organism stronger. It will help to avoid a lot of
issues
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that cause a weak
body
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.
For example
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, to recover from a cold, you need to sweat. Most doctors
advicing
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advise
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
exercises or going to
sports
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buildings to be cured.
On the other hand
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, not only
less
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fewer
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exercises lead to
issues
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of
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for
show examples
public
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the public
a public
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organism
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organisms
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,
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, but
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also
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we have other problems like air
polutions
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pollution
pollutions
from vehicles and factories. One of the most unhealthy
gas
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gases
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for
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
Add a missing verb
is cause
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cause
Replace the word
caused
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from
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by
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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two things.
This
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gas not only
cover
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covers
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our society,
they
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it
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cover
Correct subject-verb agreement
covers
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all planet and
had
Wrong verb form
has
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Correct article usage
the wrost
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wrost
Correct your spelling
worst
impact on nature. If
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
will
take
Verb problem
pay
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attention only
for
Change preposition
to
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sports
Use synonyms
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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, not
for
Change preposition
to
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another aspects
Replace the adjective
another aspect
other aspects
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, it will not matter how
more
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many
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individuals will train their
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body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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, they can not avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
illnesses that cause
polutions
Correct your spelling
pollution
pollutions
solutions
.
To sum up
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, all mentioned , I come to
conclusion
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the conclusion
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that
sports
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facilities
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are needed and they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
help people keep
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
, but we
also
Linking Words
must not forget about another problem.
Therefore
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, currently, we must solve
issues
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bigger than the fewer
sports
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facilities
Use synonyms
.
Such
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as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set out the argument, the body should support this with coherent points, and the conclusion should summarize your discussion and opinion.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical connections between ideas. Transitional phrases and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help with the flow of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points more thoroughly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details to build a compelling argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both viewpoints as well as give your own opinion clearly and extensively.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas to provide a more in-depth discussion of the topic. Use more complex sentence structures and precise vocabulary to explain your points clearly.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to strengthen your argument. These examples should be detailed and directly related to the topic being discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • chronic diseases
  • preventative care
  • obesity
  • physical activity
  • health initiatives
  • health education campaigns
  • social interaction
  • mental wellbeing
  • motivation
  • accessible venues
  • active lifestyle
  • quality healthcare
  • community hubs
  • multipronged approach
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