IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some businesses find that when new employees join them after finishing their education, they lack basic interpersonal skills such as the ability to work with their colleagues as part of a team. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Many businesses report that newly graduated employees often lack essential interpersonal
skills
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, particularly the ability to collaborate effectively with colleagues as part of a team.
This
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 issue can create challenges in workplace
communication
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, productivity, and
organizational
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organisational
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 culture. Several factors contribute to
this
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 problem, and both educational institutions and employers can take steps to address it. One major cause is the strong emphasis on academic knowledge rather than practical
skills
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 in many education systems. Schools and universities often
prioritize
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prioritise
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 exams, grades, and individual performance.
As a result
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,
students
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 spend most of their time studying independently rather than learning how to cooperate with others. Group discussions, collaborative projects, and real-world problem-solving activities are sometimes limited, which prevents
students
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 from developing teamwork and
communication
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skills
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. Another reason is the growing influence of technology on
students
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’ lifestyles. Many young people communicate primarily through social media and digital platforms rather than face-to-face interaction.
While
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 technology provides many benefits, it can reduce opportunities to practice direct
communication
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, negotiation, and conflict resolution with others. To solve
this
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 problem, educational institutions should integrate more practical and collaborative learning methods into their curricula.
For example
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, universities can introduce more group assignments, presentations, debates, and project-based learning activities. These methods encourage
students
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 to share ideas, listen to different perspectives, and work together toward common goals. At the same time, companies can help new employees develop interpersonal
skills
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 through training programs and mentorship systems. Team-building workshops,
communication
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 training, and guidance from experienced colleagues can help graduates adjust more quickly to the workplace environment. Internships during university studies can
also
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 give
students
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 valuable experience working with others before they begin full-time employment. In conclusion, the lack of interpersonal
skills
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 among new graduates is mainly caused by education systems that focus heavily on academic achievement and by reduced face-to-face
communication
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 in modern lifestyles. By promoting collaborative learning in schools and providing training and mentorship in workplaces, both educators and employers can help young professionals develop the teamwork
skills
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 needed for success.

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task response
For task response, your answer is full and clear, but you can add one more real or clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, you explain both causes and solutions well, but some ideas could go a bit deeper.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, and each paragraph has a clear job. To make it even better, use a few more linking words with care.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your main points are good, but some support is general. Add one or two more clear details.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: causes and measures.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main idea, so it is easy to read.
task response
Your conclusion is clear and fits the essay well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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