IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

students should spend timeworking before beginning their university studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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At present,
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work-experience
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work experience
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 plays a crucial role in
workforce
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the workforce
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.
However
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,
wether
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whether
show examples
students
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 contribute their
time
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 to
work
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 before starting
university
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studies
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 is constantly
debate
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debated
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.
This
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eassy
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essay
easy
 will explore the merits and
demertis
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demerits
, and
the
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in the
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 end, I will stand my
opnion
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opinion
. I agree
the
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with the
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 statement that
students
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 spend
time
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 too much
time
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 on
timeworking
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time working
 might
effect
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affect
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 their
performence
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performance
 in
university
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studies
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,
comparing
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compared
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 with those who do not
work
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an
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in
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 advance. Because they contribute
time
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 to working rather than
prestuding
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presiding
university
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's courses.
In addition
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, spending too much
time
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 on working might impose their
psycologic
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psychological
psychologic
 stress. Despite
of
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apply
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these reasons, I believe that
timeworing
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timeworn
 before
begining
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beginning
 their
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university's
Change noun form
university
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studies
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 would provide some benefits for these
students
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.
Firstly
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, they can adapt to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in advance,
such
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 as how to interact with
colleages propertly
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colleagues properly
.
Secondly
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,
timeworking
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time working
 will
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their life and
work
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 experience, because they can learn
someting
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something
what
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that
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 would not be
taugt
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taught
 in school. For
examplem
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example
, they can
enhence
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enhance
the
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apply
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independent thinking
skill
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skills
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 and independent
work
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 via timeworking.
Finally
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,
students
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 can learn practical
skill
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skills
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 from
workforce
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the workforce
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, these
exprience
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experiences
experience
 may help them find a job
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more easiler
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easiler
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easier
easily
 after graduating
form
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from
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university
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. In conclusion, contributing
time
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 to
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 before starting
university
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 will bring some demerits.
Neverless
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Nevertheless
, I agree that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should
spending
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spend
be spending
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timeworking
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time working
 before
begining
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beginning
university
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.
Addtionanlly
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Additionally
, it is
improtant
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important
 that student should learn how to allocate their
time
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 between
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studies
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 and working.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay at times lacks clarity, which can confuse the reader. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all ideas are fully developed and not repetitive. Use transition words effectively to establish logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Avoid abrupt changes in thought.
coherence cohesion
Despite having an introduction and conclusion, there are several grammatical and spelling errors which make it difficult to follow. Introduction and conclusion should clearly state your position and succinctly summarize your main points. Work on proofreading and refining your writing for greater impact and readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents general statements rather than fully supported main points. Consider providing more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your argument. When mentioning benefits or drawbacks, elaborate on these ideas with concrete examples or data to illustrate your point effectively
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete, but your position is not clear throughout the essay. Make sure that your opinion is stated clearly in the introduction and that your body paragraphs consistently support this stance. Address the prompt directly and ensure that all parts of the task are answered comprehensively.
task achievement
The essay has some ideas related to the topic, but they are often vague or underdeveloped. To achieve a clear and comprehensive presentation of ideas, expand on each point with more detail, provide rationale for your opinions, and show deeper analysis.
task achievement
Examples used are somewhat relevant, but they lack specificity and development. For a higher score, ensure that your examples are directly linked to the argument you are making and that they are explained in enough detail to support your points convincingly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical experience
  • academic learning
  • theoretical concepts
  • soft skills
  • time management
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • student loans
  • work experience
  • competitive job market
  • career goals
  • field of study
  • cultural exposure
  • global mindset
  • career progression
  • academic skills atrophy
  • period of adjustment
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