In some countries, more and more local shops are closing down because so many people now shop online. What problems might this cause? What is the best way to deal with this problem?
It is true that
due to
the advancement of technology
more people are Add a comma
technology,
lean
towards purchasing online rather than going to Replace the word
leaning
local
market as it Add an article
the local
provide
no mean of Change the verb form
provides
transporation
. Correct your spelling
transportation
This
essay will discuss the two main causes of shoping
online Correct your spelling
shopping
such
as having seller
store on Correct article usage
a seller
interweb
and fixed prices. it Add an article
the interweb
also
help
to provide solutions that include proper management policy and bargaining techniques
Change the verb form
helps
to begin
with, online store
are grabbing the Fix the agreement mistake
stores
world
attention as Change noun form
world's
it
provide Correct pronoun usage
they
the
easier interface between Correct article usage
an
seller
and Fix the agreement mistake
sellers
buyer
from around the globe. Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
firstly
, internet
Correct article usage
the internet
play
a vital role in it because most of the online store Change the verb form
plays
run
by Add a missing verb
are run
internet
service. Capitalize word
Internet
secondly
it Add a comma
secondly,
help
to maintain a proper privacy balance Change the verb form
helps
while
shopping online and payment is transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
according to
website
payment method policy mostly prefer paypal or Correct article usage
the website
stripe
Capitalize word
Stripe
for instance
, due to
Correct article usage
the corona
corona virus
, almost all people initiate their work and businesses through online Correct your spelling
coronavirus
sytem
without physical interaction Correct your spelling
systems
thus
, saving life and time. finally
, prices on online products are fixed and it has been the source of
many Change preposition
for
seller
to earn Change to a plural noun
sellers
most
from Correct article usage
the most
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct your spelling
therefore
therefor
, it is safe to say that online shopping makes Correct your spelling
therefore
the
life Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
easier
eaiser
and beneficial for some online traders
Correct your spelling
easier
furthermore
, many people faced
problems Wrong verb form
face
while
shopping online such
as scams and harasements
Correct your spelling
harassments
harassment
premarily
, its Correct your spelling
primarily
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
easier to Correct your spelling
a lot
Correct your spelling
deceive
decieve
a person Correct your spelling
deceive
rather
than buying products from local shops and markets Rephrase
apply
along side
with it there are any chances that the trader can reduce Correct your spelling
alongside
Correct your spelling
their
the
thier
Correct your spelling
their
price
of items with suitable bargaining techniques at the same, Fix the agreement mistake
prices
cyberbulling
and use of abusive language go side by side on interweb but if you travel to buy the product physically there are many less chances to face Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
cyber bullying
harasement
as police official and cameras are on duty twenty-four by seven Correct your spelling
harassment
thus
, it is most simple way of shopping
to Correct your spelling
conclude
conlcude
, Correct your spelling
conclude
while
many youngster
buy from online stores that Change to a plural noun
youngsters
does
not require travelling Change the verb form
do
however
, by adopting Add the comma(s)
, however
the
policy Correct article usage
a
such
as no bad words or misbehave
behaviour, one can do shopping Wrong verb form
misbehaving
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
easier and better Correct your spelling
a lot
in
both ways either through on Change preposition
apply
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
or locallyCapitalize word
Internet
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on
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coherence cohesion
As an examiner, I must point out that the logical structure of your essay is lacking, with ideas presented in a way that feels disjointed and abrupt. There's a need for clear and logical progression of information.
coherence cohesion
The essay requires an introduction and conclusion that clearly outline the main points and overall argument. The ones provided are minimal and do not effectively frame the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points need to be developed further and supported by more elaborated examples or evidence. The current support provided is inadequate for a high score.
task achievement
While there is some response to the task with an attempt to discuss problems and solutions, the response feels incomplete and occasionally veers off-topic. More thorough development of ideas relevant to the question is needed.
task achievement
Ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Make use of more sophisticated language structures and vocabulary to better convey your points.
task achievement
Including more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas will strengthen your essay. The examples provided are too general or not entirely pertinent to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.