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The graph below shows male and female gym membership from 1980 to 2010. Write at least 250 words and make a comparison which relevant

The graph below shows male and female gym membership from 1980 to 2010. Write at least 250 words and make a comparison which relevant
#gym #membership #comparison
The line graph illustrates male and female
gym
membership
 over a thirty-year
period
. The vertical axis represents the number of
members
 in units of 1000. The horizontal axis represents the
period
 from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
, the trend of
gym
membership
 fluctuated wildly over the
period
 given.
While
 in the beginning
man
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
members
 were highly
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
, women were the highest
membership
Replace the word
members
show examples
at the end
. In 1980, many more male than female was included in
gym
membership
 at about 2200 and 1100 people respectively.
In contrast
, the number of
gym
membership
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 was higher than
Change preposition
for male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in 1995.
Furthermore
, more
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 joined
gym
membership
 in 2000. Subsequent in 2005, the number of
gym
membership
Fix the agreement mistake
memberships
show examples
 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
hit the peak approximately at 4800
members
, which was almost double
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 at 2400
members
.
At the end
 of the
period
, the highest
gym
membership
 was
also
 gained by
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 which accounted for 1500 people.
This
 figure was extremely different compared with
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 at just 500 people.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gym, membership, period, members with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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