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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boys and girls in schools. Others disagree and believe that it is a waste of school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #life #skill #boys #girls #schools #waste #school #time
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It is argued by some people that cooking is a necessary skill and should be taught to males and females at the
school
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 level.
However
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, others say that it is just a waste of
time
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.
This
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 essay agrees with the former point irrespective of the fact that cooking takes away
time
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. On the one hand, it is believed that learning to
cook
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 at the
school
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 level is a waste of
school
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 hours.
This
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 is because cooking requires
time
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 and attention
while
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school
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 remains open only for five or six hours a day.
Therefore
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, if students get to indulge in learning culinary skills, there will be less
time
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 for academic classes.
For example
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, learning Home Economics during
school
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 in the Government schools of Pakistan takes away the
time
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 for other classes.
On the other hand
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, learning culinary skills gives freedom to
cook
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 for oneself.
This
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 is to say that knowing how to
cook
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 enables someone to
cook
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 what they want to eat, whenever they want to eat.
For instance
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, students who have the art of cooking can easily
cook
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 independently during their hostel life. Cooking
also
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 provokes creativity in both genders. It means that learning recipes and cooking terminologies causes individuals to generate new ideas for cuisine.
For example
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, Knorr cubes are innovative products in which chicken and spices have been mixed by experts to produce handy products.
That is
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 why I agree with
this
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 point of view.
To conclude
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, despite taking
time
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 and attention, cooking skills should be taught to students at the
school
Use synonyms
 level to make them independent and creative in cooking.
Submitted by durefishan4455 on

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task achievement
Task response could be improved by ensuring that the ideas and arguments are more fully expanded and developed throughout the essay. Additionally, include a wider range of relevant specific examples to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, you should work on the overall logical structure of the essay. Your ideas require clearer connections and smoother transitions to ensure the reader can easily follow your arguments from one point to the next. Furthermore, you should incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices beyond simple conjunctions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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