IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, tourism
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 believed to be one of the most developing industries and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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 much to economies all over the world.
However
Linking Words
, its damage can affect
to
Change preposition
apply
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local features and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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is overlooked
Verb problem
apply
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. Personally, I totally agree with the view above.
To begin
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 with, on the
culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 front, the flow of visitors coming to a particular place can erode its local features and traditions. To explain, when the number of
traveller
Change to a plural noun
travellers
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 is considerably rising, their demand
about
Change preposition
for
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 cultural experience are
also
Linking Words
 highly growing, and they need to be required by local
local
Remove the redundancy
apply
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people. Because of
this
Linking Words
, it may result in the
decreases
Fix the agreement mistake
decrease
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 in local features.
For example
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, in recent years in Vietnam, some of the tourist destinations which have several traditional activities turned into organizing other modern activities
to
Change preposition
apply
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suitable with visitors, so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 traditional nature
gradually
Rephrase
apply
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.
Moreover
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, apart from the local cultures, the environment is
also
Linking Words
 affected;
however
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, it is ignored by most
of
Change preposition
apply
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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. With a great number of visitors coming to, some popular attractions face up to the dilemma of the dilution in
sighseeings
Correct your spelling
sightseeings
sightseeing
, the environmental pollution by the mountains of litter,
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
.
For instance
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, the historic site that draws tourists, like Hung Temple is suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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habitat destruction,
rubbish
Correct word choice
and rubbish
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issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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due to
Linking Words
 the sheer volume of people going
their
Replace the word
there
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in
Change preposition
on
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 occasion. In conclusion,
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however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 tourist industries are one of the most developing aspects and help increase income
soures
Correct your spelling
sources
, the eco-system is overlooked. In my point of view, I strictly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the question.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points fully with clear reasoning and support them with specific examples or evidence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs in a logical manner, each one should focus on a single main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
Language
Review your work for grammatical correctness and vocabulary range and accuracy.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be cautious with repetition of ideas; aim for more precision in your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Avoid overgeneralization and ensure precision in your argumentation, particularly in the conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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