In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?
Parent
hold an important Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
role
for
Change preposition
in
child
growth and development. However
, there are differences between the role
of a Fix the agreement mistake
roles
mother
and a father
in some countries. For example
, in Asia
most Add a comma
Asia,
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
mother
has the duty to take care
of their children and provide education at home, whether academically or moral
. Meanwhile, the Change the word
morally
father
has to work and earn money in order to keep the family settled.
I believe these differences exist by reason of our nature as a
human Correct article usage
apply
being
, either as a Fix the agreement mistake
beings
woman
and
a man are dissimilar. Correct word choice
or
Woman
biologically has the ability to have a child
and give birth, so there is a strong bond between the mother
and their infant. Most woman
has nurturing personality especially
with their own Add the comma(s)
, especially
child
. With that being said, woman
naturally has the capability to take Add an article
a woman
care
of their child
in terms to build
their character, personality, intelligence, and how should they live in Change preposition
of building
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, father
as a man has the capability to provide for their family. The Correct article usage
the father
child
's need is not limited by being taken care
and
educated by the Change preposition
of and
mother
. Instead
, they also
need to have a good supply of nutritions
and Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
went
Wrong verb form
go
into
a decent educational institution in order to have Change preposition
to
well
health and better knowledge. To provide them, it might cost quite a lot and the Correct word choice
good
role
of the father
to provide is needed. A father
also
has a role
to be a representative and be present for their child
. It will give them comfort and secured
.
Replace the word
security
Although
the role
of a Fix the agreement mistake
roles
mother
and a father
are different, the two complement each other in terms of raising a child
. They need to work together as a parent and make sure the child
is well provided with love and care
. I believe in the future, parental roles might develop for the better. It can be achieved by counting on the technologies we had
these days. We can utilise them to be part of modern parenting. Wrong verb form
have
Nevertheless
, their role
is equitable as a tool to help parenting be more convinient
. The parent themself better be present for their Correct your spelling
convenient
child
as it is a part of growing as a family also
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the subsequent sentences expand on that idea with explanations, examples, or details. Your essay sometimes veers off into general statements without fully developing the connection to the main point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on sentence structure and vary it to create a more complex and formal style, appropriate for an IELTS essay. Use linking words to better connect paragraphs and sentences.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task more fully. The question asks both about why differences exist and how roles may develop in the future. You have touched on these, but the ideas could be more developed and supported with detailed examples.
Task Achievement
Be more specific and provide concrete examples when discussing why roles differ and also when predicting future developments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.