IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003 is presented below.

#tourists #malaysia #dubai
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The line chart illustrates the
number
 of tourists who visited Malaysia and
Dubai
 in an eight-year
period
 (1995–2003) presented by a university lecturer.
Overall
, Malaysia’s
visitors
 increased gradually each year but decreased
at the end
 of the
period
. Meanwhile, the
number
 of
Dubai
visitors
 increased
at the end
 of the
period
, even though it fluctuated at the beginning of the
period
.
To begin
 with, 100,000 tourists visited Malaysia in 1995. The
number
 increased gradually each year until it reached its peak in 2001 with more than 300,000
visitors
. #
However
, the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 decreased after that year, which was counted at 275,000 and below 250,000
visitors
 in 2002 and 2003.
Next,
in 1995, fewer than 50,000
visitors
 came to
Dubai
, which decreased in 1996.
Although
 the
number
 of
Dubai
visitors
 fluctuated, it reached its peak in 1998, 2001, and 2003 with 175,000, 325,000, and 400,000
visitors
, respectively.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction effectively paraphrases the task and clearly presents the overview of the data. Include an overview or summary at the end of the essay to encapsulate the main trends, comparisons or stages.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic which is developed coherently. Logical connectors should be used consistently throughout the essay to ensure a good flow.
task achievement
Expand on key points by providing more detailed comparisons and contrasts over the time period. Include specific data points where relevant to support your descriptions effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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