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Band 7

In some countries, it is common for women to participate in the workforce when their children are young. what are the advantages and disadvantages

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The idea of
women
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 returning to
work
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 shortly after the birth of their children has become increasingly common in many countries.
This
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 topic often sparks debate as there are both advantages and disadvantages to consider.
While
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 some believe that working mothers are able to maintain financial stability and personal growth, others argue that
this
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 could have negative consequences on the
child
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's development and the mother's well-being.
This
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 essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of
women
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 working during their
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child's
Fix the agreement mistake
children's
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 early years.
To begin
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 with, one of the primary benefits of
women
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 working after childbirth is financial stability. Raising a
child
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 involves significant costs,
such
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 as healthcare, education, and daily living expenses, which may be difficult to cover on a single income.
For example
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, many families today depend on both parents working to maintain a comfortable lifestyle and meet these financial demands.
Additionally
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, when both parents contribute financially, the burden is lessened, reducing stress on one individual. In the past, men were typically the sole breadwinners, but today, shared financial responsibility is increasingly common.
Furthermore
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, a mother’s return to
work
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 can
also
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 offer opportunities for personal growth. By continuing her career, a woman can maintain her professional skills, contribute to society, and feel a sense of accomplishment.
This
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 can boost her confidence and
overall
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 well-being. Many
women
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 find
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 in their professional lives, and balancing
work
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 and family can provide a sense of purpose and personal satisfaction.
However
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, despite these advantages, there are several significant drawbacks to consider. One of the most pressing concerns is the impact on the mother-
child
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 relationship. The early years of a
child
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’s life are crucial for bonding and emotional development, and mothers play a central role in
this
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. Studies have shown that children who spend more time with their mothers during infancy tend to have stronger emotional bonds and better social skills later in life. When a mother returns to
work
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 too soon, it may hinder
this
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 important connection and potentially affect the
child
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's emotional well-being.

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Improvement
Wrap up the advantages and disadvantages with a clear conclusion that summarizes your overall perspective on the issue.
Improvement
Incorporate more varied examples or studies to support your points, which will strengthen your task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction that outlines the main arguments.
Task Achievement
Addresses both sides of the argument with clear and comprehensive ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce
  • economic benefits
  • standard of living
  • professional growth
  • career progression
  • social network
  • emotional support
  • role modeling
  • work-life balance
  • childcare costs
  • external childcare
  • additional income
  • emotional development
  • career opportunities
  • part-time roles
  • less demanding positions
  • juggling responsibilities
  • family environment
  • job satisfaction
  • financial security
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