The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.
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The bar chart depicts the number of leisure
hours
Use synonyms
different people of a town spend on their pastimes in the year 2019. They are compared
accordingly
Linking Words
based on their gender and employment status.
Overall
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, it is evident that males dominated women in regard to spending more time on their extra-curricular activities.
While
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there were no men, who were working as part-timers and as stay-at-home husbands, women were spread over in all different employment situations. It is noticeable that the female population, who were full-time and part-time workers spent nearly 40
hours
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, as housewives, they spent about 50
hours
Use synonyms
on their pastimes.
In addition
Linking Words
to
this
Linking Words
, people who were unemployed and retired spent about 70 to 80
hours
Use synonyms
on leisure activities no matter their gender.
While
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fully-employed men had around 50
hours
Use synonyms
of leisure time, females had less than 40
hours
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
people have a lot of free time to spend on their leisurely activities after their retirement.
Submitted by tejanavyapc2000 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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