Some believe that exercise is important for health while others think that balanced diet is more important. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

#believe #exercise #health #diet #points

It is a common belief that

exercise

is key to health but some people think that a balanced

diet

is more important.

Exercise

is a necessary factor for a healthy

body

as well as

a healthy mind.

Exercise

stimulates blood circulation in the

body

, which prevents the human

body

from life-threatening diseases

such

as arteriosclerosis, heart attack, brain

hemorrhage

Change the spelling

haemorrhage

show examples

, etc. Research shows that seven minutes of

exercise

daily is a must for the

body

. The sweat glands produce sweat that helps maintain

body

temperature and keeps skin fresh.

Exercise

also

relaxes the mind and produces positive changes in attitude.

Similarly

, a healthy and balanced

diet

also

crucial to health and the

body

. An imbalanced

diet

causes many serious threats to the human

body

For example

, if a person does not eat a healthy

diet

, his growth hampers. Junk foods i.e. pizza, burgers, and cold drinks have changed our style of living. These are too sugary and cause diabetes in humans. Coca-cola with a very low pH is a source of peptic ulcer in many developed and developing countries including Pakistan. A balanced

diet

, containing all essential nutrients, is beneficial for the proper growth of the

body

and mind. It prevents humans from weakness, lethargy, and disorders. In my opinion, both

exercise

and a healthy

diet

are equally important for maintaining proper health. If you consume a

diet

and do not

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise

, it

also

harms you in the long run.

Therefore

, a proper

diet

as well as

exercise

daily is essential. Both

diet

and

exercise

keep us healthy, fit, and positive. Brainpower

also

enhances what is important for living a balanced life.

Submitted by durefishan4455 on Fri Nov 24 2023

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logical structure

Your essay has a logical structure, but the ideas could have been organized more effectively. Try to clearly divide the essay into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each main idea should start a new paragraph.

introduction conclusion present

An introduction and conclusion are present, but these need to be more clearly delineated and defined. The introduction should outline the topics that will be discussed and the conclusion should summarise the points made without presenting new information.

supported main points

You've made some good points to support your main ideas, but the arguments would be stronger with a more varied range of support, like facts, statistics, or real-life examples.

complete response

You addressed the task, but the response could have been more fully developed. Make sure to discuss both views equally before giving your own opinion and link this opinion back to the question prompt.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are clear, but they could be expressed more comprehensively. Work on expanding your explanations and connecting your points back to the thesis statement in a way that thoroughly demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

relevant specific examples

Make sure to include relevant examples to support each point you're making. While you have provided some examples, adding more specific and detailed instances will better illustrate your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that exercise is important for health while others think that balanced diet is more important. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the money used to preserve historic buildings and artefacts should came from goverment funds, while others believe that private organisations and individuals should pay for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or the building they live in

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some children spent hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?