Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivatethe youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion.

Sports
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
like the Olympics help to motivate the young generations who do not love to exercise. I agree with the statement that Olympic shows can introduce the fun of the
sport
to the viewers and enhance their competitive side. Olympic
competitions
involve many varieties of
sports
that are attended by whole countries.
This
competition is mostly watched by all ages especially children who have
having
Change the verb form
had
show examples
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
interest in supporting their countries.
This
program unofficially introduces some varieties of
sports
to juveniles
while
watching the Olympics. Knowing the
sport
in terms of how to play or strategies of playing will motivate these younger generations to play the
sport
.
For example
, these days Tennis
sport
is quite popular in Indonesia
due to
their
competitions
being shown a lot on Television.
This
caused a lot of people
such
as young celebrities or influencers to change from enjoying watching to being addicted to playing tennis
sport
.
Moreover
, watching
sports
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
can motivate young people to exercise because the competition can enhance the watchers' competitive personality.
For example
, Indonesia is one of many countries known for its badminton. Many elite
competitions
are won by Indonesians.
This
will attract many young generations to watch these badminton
competitions
and become competitive in playing and winning the
sport
with their peers.
Therefore
, watching
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
might
also
lead someone to become competitive and willing to try the
sport
.
To Conclude
, the Olympic TV program can enhance not only their knowledge of one
sport
but
also
their competitive side which leads young people eager to try the
sport
in the future.
Submitted by lavenia34808 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of your essay. Consider using clearer transitions and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the preceding one. This will enhance the flow of your arguments and improve the overall coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a distinct introduction and conclusion. Make sure your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion wraps up the argument by summarizing and restating your position clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that main points are well-supported with examples and explanations. Each point you make should be substantiated with specific details that relate directly back to your central argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you provide a complete response to the task, addressing all parts of the prompt fully. Expand upon your ideas to showcase understanding and engagement with the topic.
Task Achievement
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas without unnecessary repetition. Aim for a balance between conciseness and detail in your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your views. Avoid vague generalizations and strive to give concrete evidence that reinforces your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivate
  • Elite athletes
  • Physical activity
  • Variety of sports
  • Patriotism
  • Participate
  • Commentary
  • Health and fitness
  • Accessibility
  • Communal viewing
  • Peer influence
  • Human capability
  • Perseverance
  • Dedication
  • Passive viewers
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