The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?
Nowadays, the internet has become the easiest way
for sharing
information and knowledge. Change preposition
to share
Although
individuals in developed countries have more awareness of its risks, new problems
have been created because of incorrect use. Yet, numerous ways are capable of solving these problems
associated with the network. Even though required factors might sometimes seem hopeless, however
, it must be strongly believed that plenty of positive aspects exist. As a consequence
, the responsibility lies with each one of us. Nevertheless
, the essay thoroughly discusses the main causes,
and considers what practical solutions are available.
Among many causes around the subject, an increasingly worrying one which is extremely pressing is that some young people post their own data by using various social platforms. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, young girls send photos of their faces and dresses to their friends via Snapchat or WhatsApp. This
practice can put
them an embarrassed attitude and cost them their reputation. Verb problem
give
Besides
, some impolite
can use these photos for cyberbullying. Whatever, a person is honest and loyal, but does not mean oversharing personal details. In short, actions must be taken urgently to deal with it. Correct your spelling
impolites
Furthermore
, another serious problem which needs to be addressed is that children
can watch offensive images and violent videos which are not convenient for their ages. For instance
, unfortunately, they are becoming gamerholics; addicted to video games and playing for a long period. Some games are unsuitable and display inappropriate content. Hence
this
is to say, parents and society either
have a role play to provide and create a healthy environment for their Correct word choice
apply
children
.
On the whole, to tackle these serious issues that have a profound impact on children
as well as
grownups. The small first step but a useful solution is that the Ministry of Education is in charge of making awareness campaigns at schools and universities to talk about sharing
private data is a really dangerous matter, not just around sharing photos, but Rephrase
how sharing
also
around identity theft and these can expose the person to a legal crisis. On the other hand
, parents have to be careful to lock all of the applications that are not suitable for children
. Where some
websites and apps are designed Rephrase
Some
for avoiding
offensive ads and texts Change preposition
to avoid
which are
Verb problem
that
appeared
when downloading apps from untrusted sites. Wrong verb form
appear
Thus
, some measures should be implemented to reduce the negative side effects of this
dilemma.
In conclusion, a few of the proposals sound like better solutions to avoid these problems
before happing
, Verb problem
happen
however
, it is not easy to demonstrate whether these will certainly work or not. In my opinion, ideally, as long as awareness of how can individuals use the internet properly is increased in society, gradually, these problems
will be diminishedSubmitted by memamema292 on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points you intend to discuss. Your conclusion should effectively summarize these points and restate the importance of the issue.
Logical Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the following sentences should provide support for that main idea.
Supported Main Points
You should support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Your examples are fairly general and could be improved with more specific details and explanations.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by ensuring you discuss both the problems and the solutions in depth. While your essay touches on both, you could provide a more comprehensive exploration of the issues and more developed solution proposals.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive. Each idea should be fully explained and relate directly to the question. Avoid ambiguous statements and ensure clarity in your arguments.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Make sure these examples are directly related to the problems and solutions you are discussing. Avoid vague references and ensure that your examples really demonstrate the issues at hand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example